Hottywood Helps
A brutally honest & completely humorous website that covers every day topics. Get the answers now.

Archive for October 2009

The Office Idiot: Why Stupid People Get Hired & Not Fired

October 30, 2009

Stupid people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. And though they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag, they bring a certain decorum to every office.

The Office Cheerleader: Let’s Push Them Off a Cliff

October 29, 2009

The next time your office cheerleader enters your personal space with their pom-poms shaking in the air and speaking in rhymes, take a hand-held machine gun, loaded with reusable party forks and go all Rambo on their ass!

THE DAMNED LIST: For Parents With Kids Out of Control in Public Places

October 28, 2009

Children aren’t afraid of parents anymore. They laugh when the parental temperament elevates and go back to their little clubs and gangs and compare notes on whose parent is the most yellow-bellied.

Well I’ve had enough, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s putting a foot down.

A Nation Must Rise and Ban Together: Death to Skinny Jeans!

October 27, 2009

Let’s be honest here, there is nothing more unflattering to the male body as these heathen denim slacks and anyone who believes otherwise should take a long nose dive off a short cliff.

The Perfect “Dear John” Letter: Kick Rocks Mother Effer!

October 27, 2009

I am going to do my very best to help you get the message across that you would rather drink spoiled milk from a dying cow’s utter than to continue on in a stalled relationship.

How to Escape the Most Common Mistakes of a New Relationship

October 25, 2009

Keep in mind that no relationship is perfect, because there’s no such thing as a perfect person. All relationships take work and NO relationship should be entered without your protective battle armor. Just know that you can pick and choose your battles and avoid running from the field with your tail caught between your legs, or a lock of hair in your mate’s hand for a voodoo potion.

How to End a Relationship with Minimal Weaponry & Bloodshed

October 24, 2009

If you follow these steps exactly from A-Z, you will no longer feel trapped in a tremendously painful existence, experiencing feelings of empathy mixed with remorse and guilt. And the impulse to burst into tears will cease to hit you sporadically throughout the day.

Socks and Sandals: Death to the Rise of this Fashion Faux Pas

October 23, 2009

Socks and sandals are the devil and no one should be caught dead wearing them together. Death! Death, I say. Death to the rise of this fashion blunder!

How To Deal With Stalkers

October 22, 2009

How do you deal with a stalker? RUN FOR THE HILLS or take a bazooka and blow them to smithereens!

Freedom Stinks: Crap Wrapped in a Pretty Box

October 22, 2009

Quote of the Week: Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings – they did it by killing all those who opposed them.