Archive for November 2009
November 30, 2009
You can catch a lying mutha effer in the act if you only know what to look for.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Tags: Advice, Asian, Attraction, Attractive, Batman, Boy, Cheaters, Cheating, Chinese, Deceiving, Deception, Defense, Eyes, Fashion, Fighting, Fire, Food, Football, George Bush, Girl, Guilty, How, Humor, Husband, Joker, Liar, Man, Partners, People, Politicians, R. Kelly, Relationships, Romance, Secrets, Sex, Sherlock Holmes, Signs, Symbols, Truth, Twilight, Vampires, Wife, Woman, X-Men
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November 29, 2009
Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Animals, Aquarius, Aries, Boy, Cameras, Cancer, Capricorn, cell phones, Christmas, Cologne, Dentists, Dogs, Employment, Entertainment, Fashion, Food, Gemini, Giants, Girl, Health, HORRORscopes, Humor, Hygiene, Karma, Leo, Libra, Lights, Lonliness, Man, Memory, Men, Midgets, Movies, News, People, Perfume, Pets, Pisces, Relationships, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Sex, Style, Taurus, Virgo, Woman, Women
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November 25, 2009
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM HOTTYWOOD HELPS!
Posted in Food, Holiday/Special Events, Humor, Uncategorized |
Tags: Family, Fat, Food, Holidays, People, Thanksgiving, Turkey
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November 24, 2009
What is a pet peeve? Something so simple that it can irritate the sh*t out of you. Below are Hottywood’s TOP 20 PET PEEVES. Beware, if you’re caught in the hills of Hottywood violating anything on the pet peeve list, be prepared to get your ass kicked something good!
Posted in Advice, Fashion, Food, Humor, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Tags: accidents, alcohol, arrows, automotive, bicycles, bikes, Blog, Boy, candy, Cars, cell phones, Concerts, Couples, crossbows, darts, Dating, Design, designs, elevators, Entertainment, Fashion, Fear, Fight, Fire, Food, Funny, furniture, Girl, guns, hair, Health, heights, Humor, insecure, Jokes, karate, Man, obesity, party, People, rant, rave, restaurant, Sandals, sanitation, scrabble, Shopping, Sleep, Socks, speed limit, target practice, toes, toilet, Traffic, transporations, trapped, violence, weight, Woman
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November 22, 2009
Hottywood’s cookie fortunes as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor, Sex |
Tags: Advice, Animals, Aquarius, Aries, Boy, Cancer, Capricorn, Chicken, Christmas, Concerts, Dishes, Employment, Entertainment, Finances, Food, Gemini, Gifts, Girl, Government, Horoscope, Humor, Leo, Libra, Life, Man, Money, Music, People, Pets, Pisces, Psychic, Relationships, Religion, Romance, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Socks, Stars, Style, Taurus, Tips, Woman
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November 20, 2009
Research indicates that over 55% of partners are not interested in having sex once a relationship has been set in motion.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Sex |
Tags: Acting, Advice, Affection, Beach, Bisexual, Blogs, Boredom, Boy, Casual, Chemistry, Commitments, Communication, Communications, Consultation, Consulting, Cures, Depression, Dieting, Dolls, Emotions, Employment, Entertainment, Exercise, Fashion, Feelings, Fitness, Funny, Gay, Girl, Help, Heterosexual, Horror, Humor, Intimacy, Laziness, Lesbian, Life, Lonliness, Man, Medical, Medicine, Men, People, Politics, Rants, Relationships, Scary, Sci-Fi, Sex, Sexuality, Silly, Statistics, Straight, Style, Teenagers, Vacation, Woman, Women
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November 18, 2009
Morning should be really lucky that it’s not a human being, because if it was, there is no doubt that it would get its ass kicked regularly!
Posted in Advice, Food, Humor, Office Humor, Uncategorized |
Tags: Advice, Article, Ass, Blog, Children, Choir, Coffee, Cold, Construction, Cotton, Female, Fighting, Food, Funny, Humor, Jehovah's Witness, Male, Man, Meeting, Morning, Morning People, Music, Muslims, Pancakes, People, Pies, Police, Rants, Raves, School, Senior, Sleep Disorder, Snow, Speeding Tickets, Starbucks, Sumo Wrestling, Tea, Traffic, Waffles, Water, Weather, Woman, Wrestling
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November 16, 2009
If you aren’t Twittering or sending txt messages to God, then you need to be paying attention to the minister, unless he’s totally boring and has no idea what the difference is between the Old Testament and the New. Otherwise, the following behavior is permissible in church. But keep in mind that you didn’t hear it from Hottywood.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Religious |
Tags: Advice, Arts, Auxiliary, Bingo, Bishop, Bulletins, Celebration, Children, Choir, Church, Clergy, Club, Congregation, Dancing, Deacons, Entertainment, Fans, First Lady, Grandmother, Groups, How-To, Humor, Husband, Lessons, Life, Life & Style, Man, Members, Ministor, Muppets, Pastor, People, Praise, Praise and Worship, Pray, Preacher, Puppets, Religion, Ringtone, Singing, Sleep, Snore, Solo, Stripper, Things Not To Do, Tomatoes, What Not To Do, Wife, Wine, Woman, Worship
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November 15, 2009
Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Aquarius, Aries, Astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, Entertainment, Fortune, Funny, Gemini, Humor, Leo, Life, Life & Style, People, Pisces, Prediction, Psychic, Saggitarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, Zodiac
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November 12, 2009
I have found my place in life. I am happy and rich in more ways than money. And it is all because of you. My inspiration. My muse. My personal crap bag. My hater.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Tags: absense, academic, accessories, accident, accolades, Acting, action, Adolescence, adults, Advice, aim, alarm, alarm clock, alcohol, algebra, America, amusement, anatomy, Animals, animation, anniversary, anorexic, apple, armor, Arts, asshole, at risk, athlete's foot, auto, automobile, automobiles, Auxiliary, average, Babies, baboon, bad joke, bag, bamboozle, bar, basketball, beetle, Behavior, believe, bestiality, BFF, bible, biblical refererence, big bird, biker babe, biker chick, bikes, bill collector, Birds, birthday, Bishop, Blog, blogger, blood, Body, borrow, boss, boxing, Boy, brandy, Break Up, breast, brillo pad, brothel, brother, budget, buffet table, bugs bunny, bulimia, Bulletins, bullhorn, bump, bunyon, bunyons, bus, candy, car, car insurance, cards, career, Cars, cartoons, Cashier, Cats, caught off guard, Celebration, cell phones, cheese, cheeseburger, chef, chevrolet, Children, chocolate, Choir, Christ, chrylser seabrign, Church, cigarettes, cinema, circus, clash, cleaning, Clergy, cliche, cloak, clown, Club, cocktails, Cold, Comedy, comfort, commandments, commercial, Communication, community, compact cars, concepts, concert, Concerts, condom, conference, conflict, Congregation, contact, continent, convertible, cooking, cookout, corner, Couples, crazy, creatures, Credit, Creek, crime rate, cross-dresser, crossbows, crowd, daffy duck, dance, Dancing, Danny DeVito, darts, Deacons, deaf, Dear John, death, deceive, Deception, Dennis Rodman, Design, designs, diaper rash, diarrhea, diet, dime, director, disaster, discount, discrimination, disposition, diva, dodge caravan, Dogs, dolphin, domestic abuse, don't call me I'll call you, drag queen, draw, dream, driving, drugs, drunk, dual, duel, Earth, ecards, eco friendly, economics, economy, Education, elastic, elevators, elmer fudd, emotion, employees, Employment, encourage, enemies, enemy, Entertainment, equations, etiquette, event, events, eviction, evite, facts of life, faith, family guy, fan, Fans, Fashion, fashion faux pas, fashion trends, Fast Food, fat people, fatigue, faucet, FCC, Fear, feeling, Feelings, fib, Fight, Fighting, Finances, financial, Fire, firemen, First Lady, fish, flashy, foes, Food, Football, ford, frenemies, frequency, Friends, friendship, fuel efficient, funding, funds, fungus, Funny, furniture, gag, germs, get laid, gift, gin, Girl, goals, Gossip, Gossipping, Grandmother, grease, greetings, groping, Groups, grumpy, gun, guns, hair, hair club, hair spray, Hairspray, hallmark, hamburgers, handicap, hard times, Hate, Hater, Haters, Health, hearing, hearing impaired, Heart, heaven, heights, hell, Help, herbs, hide, hilton hotel, hitch hike, home, home wrecker, HORRORscopes, horses, hot dog, hot dogs, housing, How-To, Human Behavior, humans, Humor, Husband, I don't care, ideas, ignorance, infomercial, inner city, innocence, innocent, insect, insecure, Inspiration, intension, internet, internet radio, intimidation, intmacy, Italian, Italy, Janet Jackson, jeep, Jehovah's Witness, Jesus, jock strap, joke, Jokes, Justin Timberlake, karaoke, karate, Katt Williams, Kids, Kim Kardashian, kit, knee caps, knife, knock knock jokes, lactose, lake, land cruiser, lap dance, laughter, lawyer, lend, Life, Life & Style, life of the party, lightening, lion, liquor, liquor store, looney tunes, lose, Love, loyalty, Luck, lush, mad, Male, Man, Manager, manufacturer, marketing, mask, matters of the heart, meal, mean, medieval, Meeting, Members, Men, mendacity, message, metal, metro, mice, minister, Ministor, minivan, miracle, mischief, missile, Money, Morning, Morning People, moth balls, Motivation, motive, motorcycle, mouse, Muppets, murder, Music, Muslim, Muslims, mute, nation, natural, neighborhood, neighborhoods, nissan, noise, Obama, obesity, ocean, Office Humor, old people, opera, over weight, pad lock, pajamas, Pancakes, panhandler, paper, Parental, Paris Hilton, party, party favors, Pastor, paws, paycheck, penis, People, Performance, pervert, piano, pickup, Pies, piss, plate, plumbing, plus size, political, Politics, poor, pores, Potato Chips, Praise, Praise and Worship, Pray, Preacher, preaching, pubic hair, Puppets, purse, racism, radio, Rain, rant, Rants, rat, rave, Raves, read, recording, Relationship, Relationships, Religion, Religious, repellant, resources, restaurant, rich, ridicule, Ringtone, river, River of Jordan, robe, robots, rocket, rogain, roller coaster, rooster, Rules, safety, sale, saluations, sanctuary, Sandals, sanitation, sanitize, sarcasm, Satire, Save the Children, savings, School, scooby doo, scrabble, scream, scripture, sea, season, secret, serial killer, service, sesame street, sewing, Sex, sexism, shaggy, shame, Shaq, Shoes, Shopping, show, siblings, silence, Singing, size matters, Skinny, Sleep, Sleep Disorder, smart car, smoke, smurfs, snake, snooze, Snore, Snow, Socks, soda, Solo, speed limit, Speeding Tickets, spices, sports, spring, Starbucks, stewie griffin, Straight from the Horse's Mouth, street, Stripper, Style, suburban, subway, suffer, suggestions, summer, summers eve, Sumo Wrestling, sunroof, superbowl, supervisor, suspect, SUV, swag, sweets, swine flu, sword, syndrome, Tacos, tap shoes, tap water, target practice, Tea, Telephone, temper, temple, tequila, Thank you, the golden girls, the smurfs, the truth will set you free, theater, theatre, thesbian, Things Not To Do, thinking, thoughts, tickets, Time, Tips, tired, toes, toilet, tomato, Tomatoes, toyota, Traffic, trait, transporation, transporations, transportation, trapped, Travel, trees, trivia, trouble, true meaning, universal, universe, unpredictable, urban, Ursala Joyner, utensil, Vacation, vagina, vegan, vegetarian, vehicle, victory, video, video camera, violence, vodka, volkswagon, Waffles, waiter, waitress, wallet, warner bros., Water, Weapons, Weather, weekend, weight, weirdo, What Not To Do, Whitney Houston, who cares, wig, winning, Woman, Women, work, world wide web, Worship, wrangler, wrap, writing, zoo
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November 10, 2009
Dealing with a break-up isn’t that difficult if you know the two basic rules of “getting over” it.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships |
Tags: Advice, Assessment, Being Dumped, Break Up, Dating, DNA, Dumped, Entertainment, Feelings, Funny, Heart, Hobbies, Humor, Intimacy, Intimate, Kleenex, Letting go, Life, Love, Luck, Man, Men, Motivation, Moving on, People, Rejection, Relationships, Rocks, Rocky, Sabotage, Sex, Tips, Transgression, Woman, Women
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November 9, 2009
Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Aquarius, Aries, Astrology, Calendar, Cancer, Capricorn, Clowns, Cookies, Dating, Dogs, Entertainment, Fear, Funny, Gemini, HORRORscopes, Humor, Hunting, Knowledge, Leo, Months, Pets, Pisces, Rabbits, Relationships, Saggitarius, Scorpio, Style, Taurus, Toothpaste, Virgo, Zodiac
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November 5, 2009
So you’re ex won’t take “No” for an answer, eh? And you’re searching for an understanding of why your message isn’t getting across. Well search no more. Have I got the answer for you!
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Sex |
Tags: Advice, Amnesia, Break Up, Chinese, Dating, Entertainment, Foreign, French, Help, Humor, Language, Life and Style, Love, Memory, Men, People, Relationships, Spanish, Women
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November 3, 2009
Ladies, have you ever wondered why a guy is just not that into you? Well I’m going to do you a favor and give you a quick glimpse of the most common mistakes women make that runs a guy off into the night like a bull chasing an armadillo.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Sex |
Tags: Advice, Bachelors, Boycott, Cars, Consultation, Dating, Entertainment, Gentlemen, How-To, Human, Humor, Intimacy, Lady, Lessons, Love, Man, Men, Messaging, Military, Move On, Obsession, Parade, People, Psychology, Questions, Relationships, Rules, Sex, Telephone, Things Men Hate, Tips, Woman, Women
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November 3, 2009
Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed through the four elements of the earth.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor, Relationships |
Tags: Advice, Animals, Aquarius, Aries, Astrology, Boxes, Cancer, Capricorn, Dating, Fire, Funny, Gemini, Hollywood, Horoscope, Humor, Kittens, Leo, Libra, Life, Lube. Luck, Magic, Man, People, Pisces, Questions, Relationships, Saggitarius, Sandals, Scorpio, Shelter, Shoes, Stars, Style, Supplies, Swords, Taurus, Virgo, Woman, Xanax, Zodiac
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