Dear Santa,
I wonder what you would do if your ass didn’t have those little brown-nosing elves to get all of your Christmas shopping out of the way; and eight reindeer to fly you over traffic jams, bird-flipping drivers and cops who are itching to give you a ticket.
Posted in Holiday/Special Events, Humor, Uncategorized |
Tags: alcohol, Animals, automobiles, bar, Birds, Blues, Body, boys, Cars, Celebration, Celebrities, cheer, Chemistry, Children, Chris Brown, Christmas, Cookies, cops, crowds, December, drama, drinking, drunk, drunken, drunks, Employment, Entertainment, evil, Food, fun, girls, Holidays, honor, Humor, Ike, Ike Turner, Jokes, laughter, mathematics, Men, mood, Moods, mother-in-law, Motown, Music, New Year's, party, People, reindeer, rights, Rihanna, Rock n' Roll, Romance, Santa Claus, scandal, Sex, sexy, Shopping, Speeding Tickets, St. Nick, stress, Tina Turner, trashed, Travel, trees, wasted, Wife, Women
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Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, alcohol, anatomy, Animals, Aquarius, Astrology, barbeque, botox, Boy, Cancer, Capricorn, Celebrities, Cologne, decisions, Dogs, elf, elves, Employment, Entertainment, failure, Feet, Fighting, Food, fragrances, Gemini, Girl, Help, hiding, horny, Hottywood, Humor, jealousy, law, Leo, Libra, Man, math, mathematics, Men, Mystery, parties, party, People, Pisces, plumbing, Police, puppies, Relationships, restraining order, Romance, Sagittarius, Santa Clause, Scorpio, Sex, skiing, Socializing, socials, spices, stalkers, stink, Taurus, Unemployment, vilolence, Virgo, Woman, Women, working, Zodiac
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Though it is encouraged to remove yourself from any situation (or people) who are less than conducive to your welfare and life as a whole, the onset of a new year is the perfect time to wipe the sleight clean and start all over.
Posted in Advice, Holiday/Special Events, Humor, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Tags: Advice, books, Boy, Cars, comedian, Comedy, comics, coworkers, Emotions, Employment, encouragement, Entertainment, Fashion, Funny, Girl, greeting cards, gripes, Happy, Help, Holidays, Hottywood, How-To, Humor, Jobs, Man, Men, Moods, moving, Moving on, New Year's, old, People, plumbing, Rants, Raves, sad, Style, Tips, Woman, Women, young
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How much better off would you be if you could foresee and prevent funky armpits, lousy lays and stressful workdays? Here’s your chance to find out!
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Animals, Aquarius, Aries, Boy, Cancer, Capricorn, Cats, Children, Christmas, Clairvoyance, Coffee, Easter, Entertainment, Fashion, Feet, Finances, Foresight, Friends, Funk, Funky, Gambling, Gemini, Gifts, Girl, guns, HORRORscopes, Humor, Kids, Leo, Libra, Life, Love, Magic, Man, Men, Money, Parents, People, Pisces, Preminitions, Presents, Psychic, Relationship, Romance, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Sex, Style, Taurus, Travel, Woman, Women
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Let’s face it, we all need a little advice on the what to do’s and what not to do’s on a date – especially the first date. Don’t chew with your mouth open; don’t accidentally call your date by the wrong name; don’t forget to wear pants.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships |
Tags: Acting, Adolescence, Advice, alarm, alcohol, America, anatomy, Animals, animation, armor, Arts, automobile, automobiles, Auxiliary, Babies, bar, Behavior, bikes, Bingo, Bishop, Blog, Body, boss, boxing, Boy, brothel, brother, Bulletins, candy, car, Cars, Cashier, Cats, Celebration, Cell Phone, cell phones, cheese, Children, Choir, Christ, Church, Clergy, cloak, Club, Cold, Comedy, comfort, Communication, community, Concerts, condom, Congregation, contact, cooking, Couples, crazy, crossbows, dance, Dancing, darts, Dating, Deacons, deaf, death, Deception, Design, designs, director, disaster, Dogs, dream, driving, drunk, Education, elevators, emotion, Employment, enemy, Entertainment, etiquette, Fans, Fashion, Fast Food, faucet, Fear, feeling, Feelings, Fight, Fighting, finance, Finances, financial, Fire, firemen, First Lady, fish, Food, Football, Friends, friendship, Funny, furniture, germs, Girl, Grandmother, groping, Groups, gun, guns, hair, Health, Heart, heaven, heights, hell, herbs, home, HORRORscopes, housing, How-To, Human Behavior, Humor, Husband, innocent, insecure, Jehovah’s Witness, Jesus, joke, Jokes, karate, Kids, lap dance, laughter, Lessons, Life, Life & Style, lion, liquor, Love, Luck, MAC, mad, make up, Male, Man, Manager, Medical, medieval, Meeting, Members, Men, mice, minister, Ministor, Money, Morning, Morning People, Muppets, Music, Muslims, Naomi Campbell, natural, neighborhoods, noise, nose, obesity, ocean, Office Humor, Pancakes, party, Pastor, People, Performance, pervert, Pets, piano, Pies, plumbing, Politics, Potato Chips, Praise, Praise and Worship, Pray, Preacher, preaching, Puppets, puppies, Rain, rant, Rants, rave, Raves, Relationship, Relationships, Religion, Religious, restaurant, restaurants, Ringtone, robots, rooster, Rules, safety, sanctuary, Sandals, sanitation, sanitize, sarcasm, Saw, School, scrabble, sea, secret, service, Sex, Shopping, siblings, silence, Singing, Skinny, Skinny Jeans, Sleep, Sleep Disorder, smoke, Snore, Snow, Socks, Solo, speed limit, Speeding Tickets, spices, sports, Starbucks, Stripper, Style, Sumo Wrestling, supervisor, swine flu, sword, tap water, target practice, Tea, texting, theater, theatre, Things Not To Do, thinking, thoughts, Time, Tips, toes, toilet, Tomatoes, Traffic, transporations, trapped, Travel, trees, trivia, Vacation, violence, voodoo, Waffles, waiter, waitress, Water, Weapons, Weather, weekend, weight, What Not To Do, wicca, Wife, Wine, witchcraft, Witches, Woman, Women, work, Worship, writing
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Are you wondering if this week will be less pissier than the last? Well take a look at your HORRORscope and find out!
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Animals, Aquarius, Aries, Astrological, Astrology, Birds, Black, Cancer, Capricorn, Chicken, Cookies, Cow, Crabs, Entertainment, Fashion, Friends, Fright, Funny, Gemini, Groceries, Horoscope, Horror, Humor, Knowledge, Leo, Libra, Life, Love, Lover, Man, Men, Moods, Movies, Music, People, Pisces, Potato Chips, Power, Prediction, Preminitions, Rain, Red, Sagittarius, Scared, Scorpio, Sex, Snow, Social, Socializing, Spice, Style, Taurus, Time, Twins, Virgo, Weather, Woman, Women
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You know what I say to stupid ass people who ask stupid ass questions? EFF YOU!
Posted in Advice, Humor, Uncategorized |
Tags: angel, Article, Cell Phone, curious, devil, Emotions, Employment, Entertainment, Fashion, favor, Help, Help Wanted, Life, Man, mood, Opinion, overnight bag, People, Questions, Relationships, Sex, stupid, Style, Woman
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