A lot of people in our society confuse a good lay with emotions. They think that just because someone is riding the bull like a rodeo champ that their heart is also into it. Despite what you think or are led to believe, you can not turn a ho into a housewife!
Archive for March 2010
You Can’t Turn a Ho Into a Housewife
March 31, 2010
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships, Sex |
Tags: account, Advice, affair, anatomy, Animals, bed, booty call, bull, cake, Cell Phone, Cheating, climax, commitment, Communication, Dating, divorce, donuts, Dunkin Donuts, Emotions, Feelings, fiance, flirt, Food, friends with benefits, ho, hoe, housewife, icing, infidelity, Krispy Kreme, lies, linen, Love, lying, Man, manipulation, marriage, mating, Men, Money, mood, News, open relationship, People, pimp, prenuptial agreement, promiscuity, prostitution, rabbit, Relationships, repentence, repercussions, rodeo, Romance, Sex, sexality, sexual, sheets, sin, single, society, STD, Stupidity, Sunday, thighs, trust, tryst, urges, Woman, Women
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They’re Just Not That In To You
March 30, 2010No relationship is perfect and though you may be willing to put in the work to save it, your mate may not be so enthusiastic. There’s no point in crying about it. For every one good thing there’s always something better. Instead of cutting the crotches out of your man’s pants or putting super glue inside your girlfriend’s bra, it would benefit you more to know the signs of disinterest in your affair.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships |
Tags: Advice, alcohol, attention, basics, Behavior, bitch, bond, book, booze, bra, breaking up, broken heart, Cheating, chores, clothes, Communication, compromise, conversation, couple's therapy, crying, Dating, Dear John, decision, Depression, disloyal, divorce, doomed, duct tape, Education, email, emotion, energy, Entertainment, Fashion, feeling, flirt, gear, He's Just Not That Into You, high school sweetheart, Human, hurt, immaturity, infedility, keys, lesten, Letter, literature, Love, Man, mood, Moving on, Opinion, pain, Pants, People, perfection, problem, quality time, Rejection, Relationship, sad, settle down, Sex, Signs, skank, Style, tears, Telephone, text message, Time, underwear, uninterested, Vacation, vulnerability, weapon, weight loss, whore, Woman, writing
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Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of March 28-April 3, 2010
March 29, 2010Tomorrow is the last day of the first part of the new beginning of your old life. So what does that mean for the rest of the week? Let’s take a look into the crystal ball, shall we?
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Advice, airplane, alienation, alley, alone, alpha, Aquarius, Aries, Articles, associates, Astrology, beginning, bills, Blog, Body, bull, Cancer, Capricorn, Comedy, cookie, crab, crazy, crystal ball, darkness, Dating, encouragement, Entertainment, Fashion, Feet, finance, Fire, fish, Food, fool, free fall, friend, Gemini, guilt, gypsy, heavy metal, intelligence, Knowledge, lake, leach, Leo, Libra, Life, lion, listen, lotion, lube, Magic, Man, manipulation, marraige, Mary, master, masterbation, measurements, Money, murder, Music, new, News, noise, ocean, omega, parachute, payment, People, Pisces, Power, psycho, ram, Relationship, river, Sagittarius, scale, Scorpio, sea, seclusion, secret, Sex, sheep, Shoes, Simon, sin, sky dive, smart, steal, steel, student, Style, Taurus, Twins, violence, virgin, Virgo, Water, witch, Woman
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Which is More Stupid: Ugg Boots or Flip Flops???
March 25, 2010For those of you who are offended by the tragic site of the hideously ugly Ugg Boots, you can rest assured that winter is leaving with a fond farewell and is opening the doors for spring and summer, taking with it, the suede fashion blunder. Along with the change of seasons however, come the dreaded flip-flops. Which is more stupid — Uggs or Flip Flops?
Posted in Advice, Fashion, Humor |
Tags: Advice, Africa, Animals, ankle, arch, battle, catastrophe, Celebrities, cement, challenge, Children, college, comfort, competition, Construction, corn, danger, doctors, Education, Emotions, Entertainment, Fashion, fashion blunders, fashion faux pas, Feelings, Feet, Fight, flip flops, foot, footwear, fungus, Funk, gag reflex, Gentlemen, hip, Humor, ice, igloo, illegal, imitation, information, jandals, kangaroo, ladies, law, Man, manicure, Medical, Medicine, Men, mob, nail shops, original, orthopedic, Pamela Anderson, People, PETA, pluggers, Princeton Animal Welfare Society, pubic hair, punishment, Retail, Sandals, seaons, sheep, Shoes, Shopping, Snow, sole, spring, Style, suede, summer, support, thongs, toenails, tragedy, ugg boots, unisex, village, winter, Woman, Women
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What is Your Self Worth?
March 24, 2010Didn’t your mother ever teach you that no one likes a quitter? Where is your commitment to yourself? I’m talking about the [self] commitment of amounting to something greater than what you’re already not. Read more to find out what your self worth is.
Posted in Advice, Humor |
Tags: achievement, Advice, apartment for rent, basement, bathtub, Beach, Borat, boss, celebrate, Celebration, clean, climax, Club, commitment, counter, Crabs, critter, darkness, dictate, dirty, EBT card, Employment, father, Food, food stamp, guilt, hire, homelessness, host, instruct, justice, Life, lose, lounge, low pay, lubrication, Man, Management, market, minimum wage, mother, Opinion, paper bag, Parents, party, People, pep talk, planets, Police, pride, Psychologist, quitter, retro, roach, Rocks, sand, seafood, security, self worth, Sex, shame, success, supervise, supervisor, support, talk show, trailor, triumph, victory, VIP, virgin, Water, win, witness, Woman
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Hottywood’s Reality Check
March 23, 2010Do you want more useless information on what’s happening in Hollywood? Do you really care? If you don’t really care, then you might enjoy this spoof of a celebrity gossip magazine cover more than you think. What would gossip magazine covers look like if Hottywood were in control of the columns? Find out now.
Posted in Advice, Fashion, Humor, Uncategorized |
Tags: Acting, athlete's foot, Barack Obama, beauty, bill, Cameras, Celebrity, Children, civilians, congress, cover, Dating, Dean McDermott, democrat, Education, Entertainment, Fashion, front story, fun, health care, Hollywood, Humor, idiotic, importance, information, interest, Jennifer Hudson, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, law, little people, magazines, Matthew Broderick, News, offbeat, pollution, president, pretty, reality shows, Relationships, republican, Sarah Jessica Parker, School, sex symbol, Silly, spoof, Television, Tori Spelling, Truth, war, Water, who cares, world
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Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of March 21-27, 2010
March 22, 2010So what you got dumped for someone younger, smarter and way hotter? If you’dve only come to Hottywood first, I could’ve taught you how to pretend to be better than you are and warned you to stay away from that last chocolate chip cookie. Never fear, there’s always something better than what you thought was the best! Find out what your HORRORscope has in store for you this week.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Animals, Aquarius, Aries, black market, bra, bras, Break Up, Cancer, Capricorn, Cookies, couple, Dating, Deception, Dogs, dumb, Dumped, echo, elevator, Emotions, Employment, Exercise, Fear, Feelings, Food, free, Fright, Gemini, Health, honor, Horoscope, Horror, ignorance, information, Knowledge, Leo, Libra, Love, lying, Man, Men, Moods, party, People, Pisces, Power, pride, Relationships, Sagittarius, scent, Scorpio, Secrets, senses, service, Sexuality, skeletons, smell, stomach, stress, stupid, Taurus, trust, Virgo, weight, weight gain, weight loss, weird, Woman, Women, work, worry
1 Comment »
Do You Have What it Takes to be a Disgruntled Employee?
March 18, 2010The office is the one place where you are guaranteed to be underappreciated, overworked, left out, judged, criticized and expected to deal with it – all for the love of a small paycheck and a short lunch break. After you’ve finished reading this article, you will be able to determine if you have the chops to cut it in a general office environment.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Office Humor |
Tags: alcohol, American, amusement, Animals, appreciation, Article, aspirin, assignment, attitutde, baby, babysitter, baseball, Blog, boss, bricks, cafeteria, Children, Coffee, colleague, Comedy, computer, coworker, creativity, cubicles, deceit, delivery, disgruntled, email, emergency, employee of the month, Employment, escape, excuses, Exercise, explode, explosion, facilities, Food, Friends, game, hangover, headache, homelessness, Jessica Simpson, Jokes, journey, Kids, land, laughter, lecture, lies, loan, lunch, Meeting, miracle, mug shots, nation, network, Office, pal, paycheck, payday, photography, Rejection, responsibility, restroom, security, setting, speech, sports, Starbucks, superior, supervisor, survival, tivo, trip, Vacation, violence, weekday, wolf, wolves, work
5 Comments »
Size DOES Matter
March 16, 2010Everyone knows that the unbreakable rule of the Big Boy Society is, “Thou shalt not squeeze thy butt into a small ass car.” But with the economy being the way it is and auto dealers seemingly spending all their money, time and efforts focusing on compact cars, where does that leave the more-than-average-sized driver?
Posted in Advice, Food, Humor |
Tags: amusement, anatomy, anorexic, automobile, average, Body, buffet table, bulimia, car, cards, chevrolet, Children, chrylser seabrign, circus, clown, comfort, compact cars, convertible, diet, discount, dodge caravan, Earth, eco friendly, economics, elastic, emotion, Entertainment, Fashion, Fear, Feelings, Finances, flashy, Food, ford, fuel efficient, Funny, gun, heaven, hell, Humor, inner city, jeep, Kids, kit, land cruiser, laughter, lose, meal, minivan, missile, neighborhood, nissan, Opinion, over weight, pickup, plus size, Potato Chips, ridicule, rocket, roller coaster, safety, sale, savings, sewing, Shaq, size matters, Skinny, smart car, soda, Style, suburban, SUV, toyota, transportation, vehicle, victory, volkswagon, winning, wrangler
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Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of March 14-20, 2010
March 15, 2010When you’re in doubt about what tomorrow holds for you, there’s only one person to turn to – HOTTYWOOD! He can tell you if you need to avoid potholes, rugrats and three-way phone calls. Anyone else is a mere imitation.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: alcohol, appearance, Aquarius, Aries, Ass, Astrology, beef, Body, butt, Cancer, Capricorn, Cell Phone, chest hair, compliments, Cookies, cop, couple, crystal ball, Dating, dinner, disaster, Employment, Eyes, Food, freak, games, Gemini, guards, hands, Horoscope, Intimacy, invitation, Job, Knowledge, Leo, Libra, liquor, lonely, looks, Magic, manners, mirror, National Geographic, News, night cap, personality, picture, Pisces, Police, Power, promotion, protection, Psychic, reflection, Relationships, roach, Sagittarius, salad, Scorpio, solitude, star, staring, stink, strand, strange, Stupidity, sweat, Taurus, Twins, ugly, Virgo, voodoo, Water, wildlife
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Office Etiquette: Listening to Death
March 10, 2010Listening to the intricate details of someone’s boring life is just way too much to ask first thing in the morning. However, there are certain etiquette rules one must follow when working in an office environment. You may not want to. You may not even care. But it’s just the proper thing to do. And being the good law-abiding citizen that you are — one who only holds up liquor stores on the weekends — you must play by the rules.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Office Humor |
Tags: anatomy, Animals, butter, care, cell, citizenship, Coffee, colleague, Comedy, community, computer, conversation, coworkers, cubicle, Dating, deaf, death, ears, email, emotion, employ, envelope, environment, etiquette, explosion, Fire, Food, Funny, grief, gripe, gun, hearing aid, Humor, joke, laptop, laughter, law, Life, listening, long distance, manners, Meeting, Men, mood, naked, nothing, Office, People, phone, Politics, protocol, question, range, Relationship, Romance, Rules, Sleep, staff, Starbucks, Statistics, stress, Supplies, ticket, tradition, Travel, Unemployment, Vacation, volunteer, water cooler, weekend, Women, work
5 Comments »
Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of March 9-13, 2010
March 9, 2010Did all of the toilet paper run out at the worst possible time??? Well, you could’ve avoided that catastrophe if only you had come to Hottywood for answers! Never fear. It’s not too late. Find out your Hottywood HORRORscope for the week.
Posted in Advice, HORRORscopes, Humor |
Tags: Animals, Aquarius, Aries, armpit, arrogance, art, baseball, bat, bitch, breath, Cancer, Capricorn, cat, cleaning products, clergyman, clothes, Comedy, compliment, Cookies, creativity, Deception, dumb, Education, enemy, Fashion, Food, Friends, Funny, Gemini, heaven, hell, Humor, idiot, illness, Karma, Knowledge, laughter, Leo, Libra, lies, Luck, Magic, Man, Medicine, Men, offbeat, People, pimp, Pisces, Power, Prediction, prostitute, Psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, senses, smell, Socks, sports, stink, Stupidity, Style, Sunday, Taurus, toilet, Truth, Virgo, Woman, Women, worry
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How to Spice Up an Office Staff Meeting
March 4, 2010Are your office staff meetings a major snooze fest? Of course they are, but they don’t have to be. Here are a few ideas to help spruce things up the next time your director calls an all staff meeting.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Office Humor |
Tags: agenda, alcohol, Animals, appreciation, Babies, baby, bad breath, beer, bilingual, bomb, boss, business, chase, Chicken, colleague, Comedy, compliment, coworkers, crazy, diapers, direction, director, disgruntled, Education, Emotions, Employment, Entertainment, explosive, face, farm, favor, Feelings, finance, flattery, Food, forgetfulness, French, Funny, gas, glass, Gossip, Humor, idea, information, intoxication, Job, jog, kiss, Knowledge, Language, laughter, Meeting, Money, mono, mood, Office, participation, party, player, Politics, Power, program, protection, Public, quitter, race, reprimand, Romance, rumor, running, security, staff, staple, stealth, supervisor, team, verb, water cooler, Weapons, Window, work
18 Comments »
What Becomes of a Broken Heart: Getting the Last Laugh
March 3, 2010Some people believe in second chances. Some believe in fate. Some believe that everything happens for a reason. Although the heart wants what the heart wants, really smart people believe that there are reasons why things don’t work out the first time.
Posted in Advice, Humor, Relationships |
Tags: acceptance, Advice, angels, Animals, answers, art, baggage, band-aid, bandaid, blah, board, broken heart, buckets, Cats, choices, comfort, creativity, dance, Dating, decisions, Dogs, drawing, Dumped, Education, Emotions, emptiness, Feelings, flattery, Food, Funny, Happy, healing, Heart, heart break, hearts, heaven, Humor, ignore, impression, inquiry, inquisitive, journey, justification, justify, laughter, Lessons, Life, listening, Love, loved ones, Man, Men, Moving on, ninja stars, pain, People, Pets, Questions, reasons, Rejection, Relationship, reward, sad, School, second chances, Silly, speaking, suffering, tears, test, thinking, thoughts, Travel, trip, underestimated, valet, validation, visual, what if, wings, winner, Woman, Women, words
1 Comment »
Restaurants: Serving up a Side of Sexual Harassment & Germs
March 2, 2010How many times have you gone into a restaurant and have been pawned over by your server? Never mind silly little things like germs, the common cold and oh, I dunno — swine flu! These days, waiters and waitresses are serving more than biscuits. They’re serving up lap dances!
Posted in Advice, Food, Humor |
Tags: alarm, anatomy, armor, Blog, Body, brothel, cloak, Cold, Comedy, community, condom, contact, cooking, emotion, etiquette, Fashion, Fast Food, faucet, feeling, Fire, firemen, Food, Funny, germs, groping, herbs, home, housing, Humor, lap dance, Man, medieval, Money, neighborhoods, People, pervert, plumbing, Questions, restaurant, safety, sanitize, sarcasm, service, Sex, smoke, spices, Stripper, Style, swine flu, tap water, Tips, trivia, waiter, waitress, Woman, writing
2 Comments »
