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Are you an office employee who is surrounded by idiots?  Do your superiors bury you 6ft. under a pile of files? 

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THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU’RE NOT ALONE. 

THE BAD NEWS IS NO ONE CARES.

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Employees across the nation damn near pull their hair out from the overwhelming stress of answering other people’s phone calls; cleaning up someone else’s mess; or having all of their brilliant ideas stolen from coworkers who are too stupid to even remember their own last name.  But not you!  You’re the only genius who doesn’t make the time to find a better gig.  And while all of your office mates are surfing the net in search for better job locations, higher paying promotions and bigger employee benefits, you get to sit at your desk and do all of their work that they refuse to do themselves. 

Welcome to corporate America!  

Little must you know, while you’re smiling at all of the office suite passersby and executive officials who roam back and forth pass your desk to pump their bodies up with coffee and nicotine, those same employees and employers are laughing at the STUPID sign stamped on your forehead.  They know you’re the only dummy in the office who’s willing to serve as the lunch-time phone rush backup, the IT help desk support, the mail clerk, and the messenger courier.  You are the reason no new employees are hired.  Why hire anyone new when you can give up your lunch break, come into the office early or pack an overnight bag to draft a report that someone else is going to take all of the credit for?  There are words for people like you: FLUNKIE!  

Don’t get upset.  Don’t get offended.  It’s not uncommon.  In fact, you’re part of a large group of distressed employees who haven’t found the right kind of support group for people who are paid to be taken advantage of.  

Sure, your colleagues are sitting at their desks skimming through magazines and sleeping on the job, and while they’re slacking off, you’re somewhere hiding for the sake of sanity, hastily coming up with new ways of an early dismissal.  You might pull a fire alarm.  You may decide to dip a pack of staples in acid and go all Rambo on those lazy mofos who only remember your name when there’s a package that needs to be picked up from the front desk.  Whatever the case, that smile that you wear so pleasantly is just bright enough to cover up the psycho that’s steadily growing inside of you.  

Some office workers, much like yourself, cry silently as they are overlooked for promotions, scammed on pay increases or bamboozled out of employee remunerations.  They try to convince themselves that they are lucky just to have a job at all, not realizing they are being paid minimum wage to be well dressed, glorified slaves who work for a man or woman who will not hesitate to replace them if they even look like they’re going to attempt to stand up for their rights.  Sadly, that’s just the way it is in the working world.  It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it and that someone must be you since you’re the only one in the office who’s actually doing some work.     

The upsetting part is that no matter how much work you’re able to push out; no matter the amount of blood, sweat and tears, you’ll always be looked at as the person who’s capable of doing the impossible when no one else will possibly do what it is that you do.  You’ll never get the big corner office, the company car or the corporate credit card; you’ll never be invited to take pictures with the president of the firm; and you’ll never get the standing ovation for the increased statistics from the department’s progress flow charts.  You are forever doomed to be the little man at the bottom of the totem pole; the one who’ll set up and clean the party when yet another associate has quit for a better paying, higher profile job. 

That is unless and until you do something about it!  

Take charge of your life.  Scratch that STUPID stamp off of your forehead and replace it with a more perceptible sign.  Ignore your colleagues more blatantly.  Flip your desk upside down, toss some lighter fluid atop of it and set it ablaze.  It’s time to say to your slacking associates, “Eff you bastards!  I hate my job and it’s time I start living for me!”  Just make sure you have another job lined up because after you’ve declared your hatred for your only source of income, you’ll be booted out of the building faster than a rocket scientist can press a button on an ejection seat.  P.S., prostitution, stripping or male escorting should not be considered as part of your backup plan because even those fields come with a price.

If you’re going to spend more time at work than you do at home then you might as well spend that time doing something you enjoy.  That way the small paychecks won’t matter as much.  And if you really want to turn the tide, start your own business so you can be the boss who delegates all of the assignments to everyone else while you sit at your desk and catch up on all of the latest Hottywood gossip.  That’s what corporate America is all about!  Don’t be afraid to take a chance and live a little.  Changing your profession is not as hard as it sounds.  Everyone else is doing it so you might as well be a part of the “in” crown.  After all, it was a wise man who once said, “90% of any effort is getting started.”    So what are you waiting for?

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Quote of the week:   “You might be taught to work but you aren’t taught to love it.”