Let’s face it, when the weather is too hot even for the sun, not even the coolest rides can stand up to the scorching heat.
This week in Washington, temperatures sky-rocketed to ‘hell’ degrees. By ‘hell degrees’ I mean a high temperature of about 98 with a heat index somewhere around 209. With a code red heat advisory in effect for the residents of the Metropolitan area, it is with regret that I say the warning has nothing to do with the heat itself but rather the mane on the crowns of those that suffer from the sun’s stinging rays. This is usually the point in the text where I make some witty/clever comment about the subject at hand however my brain sizzled to a point of evaporation somewhere during the journey between the walk from the parking lot to my office door.
Instead the wit ponies the frizzy horse tails attached to the heads of all the poor DC girls that watched their weave money burst into flames for some packs of tracks that didn’t come with a heat resistant label on the package.
Because my fingertips are beginning to melt as they stroke the letters of my keyboard, I’m going to cut to the chase and let the below images speak for themselves. Keep your fingers crossed that if the heat doesn’t kill me first, the women of DC, Maryland and/or Virginia whose weaves are standing on its last leg don’t come charging after me for making fun of their tragic tresses.
“If I were you I’d wear a hat, too.” ____________________________________________________________
“Her hat must’ve evaporated while waiting at the bus stop. I wish it were my eyes that melted instead of her hat.”
“If I didn’t know any better I’d think her whole head combusted.”
“This ass lost its tail for nothing.”
The only way a bad weave could get any worse [due to the devil himself rising from the pits of hell] is if the weave started out looking bad to begin with.
I rest my case.
Quote of the Week: “Whether the weather be fine, Whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather the weather, Whatever the whether, Whether we like it or not.”