Tracks of an Underground Advice Columnist, Hottywood Helps Debut Book! Now available.

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Don’t be a Delquon Derrick-Malik Jenkins

Today, as I place my leftover buffalo wings on top of the office copier machine in hopes of mass-reproducing this spicy deliciousness, I am perturbed by the smelliest smell I’ve ever smelled.

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Bad Santa 1

[REPOST] Dear Santa: Real Talk

Dear Santa, I wonder what you would do if your ass didn’t have those little brown-nosing elves to get all of your Christmas shopping out of the way . . .

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Mariah Carey

For Christmas, I Pray for Mariah Carey’s Voice to Return…oh, and World Peace

Mariah Carey is rich enough to go buy a rock to hide under after this awful performance.

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