THE DAMNED LIST: For Parents With Kids Out of Control in Public Places


 Do We Blame the Children or the Parents?  

Bad_Kid 1You’ve seen them before –unruly children that wreak havoc on us well mannered, mild-tempered people.  They infest malls, grocery stores, restaurants and apartment doorsteps like roaches.  They speak to their parents as if the parent-child relationship roles were reversed.  They scream, kick, pout, and even ignore the hands that feed them.  And what do we do as witnesses to this unprecedented site for sore eyes?  We shake our heads at the parents who are obviously unaware of or simply refuse to grab the little monsters by the collar and stir up a little discipline and respect.  Well NO MORE, I say.  Damn that!  

I know there are many folks out there who would argue that disciplining your child in public is wrong, but if you think about it, if that child is being disciplined at home, they wouldn’t act like miniature ogres in public.  It’s time that we stop blaming the children for their less than perfect behavior and shake a stick at the parents for letting their guards down and not holding up the iron rod that was once so popular back in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s when our parents stood proudly for the fight of proper adolescent public behavior.  

So that we’re clear on why I blame the parents for the irrational and ill-conceived notion of letting these children run amok, here’s a list of Damn-You’s that some parents should be ashamed of:    

DAMN THE PARENTS ~ A “Damn You” list for those parents too scared to take control: 

  • Damn you, parents for being too chicken-sh*tted to whack your child on the ass when they put on the pants you should be wearing
  • Damn you for not snatching your children up by the shirt collar to let them know whose boss
  • Damn you for using your inside voice when a leather belt would so much better get the point across
  • Damn you for letting them curse at you like sailors 
  • Damn you for letting them run around the store unsupervised
  • Damn you for not putting a muzzle on them during movies at the theater 
  • Damn you for allowing them to hurl shrimp scampi at my head while I’m dining at Red Lobster 
  • Damn you for not dragging their ass inside the house when the street lights come on

Bad_Kid 3You, parents are the reason why I pinch your child while you’re not looking.  You are the reason most businesses, large and small, are prohibiting youth from entering into their respected establishments.  You are afraid (said in an antagonizing, whiny voice).  You are leery that a stranger will call the cops and cry child abuse.  

Do you want to know what I think about that?  Well even if you don’t want to know, I’m going to tell you anyway.  Because if a child can say and do whatever the hell they want to do to you, so can I!  I say you tell the police to come and take care of the little brute.  You tell them to take their handcuffs and drag the kid, kicking and screaming to the nearest cell and feed them bread and water and take away all television privileges for just two hours.  Hellooooo, it’s called scare tactics.  

Children aren’t afraid of parents anymore.  They laugh when the parental temperament elevates and go back to their little clubs and gangs and compare notes on whose parent is the most yellow-bellied.     

Well I’ve had enough, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s putting a foot down.  

Bad_Kid 2I am demanding that you put your cell phone down long enough to give your kid one good-old fashioned pop to remind them that you are the one who brought them into this world and you are the one who’ll take them out if they don’t learn some manners and respect.  I suggest that you be the one who take control before people like me do it for you.  And believe me that would be a whole new set of problems.  

If you’ve read this article to this point and still seem to be oblivious to what the hell I am talking about, take a look at the video below.  If your child exudes this kind of behavior in public and you’ve refrained from tossing him over your knee like an old church woman during 11 o’clock service at the corner store-front church, then you as a parent are at fault.  Kudos to the child for playing you like a fiddle. 

If you have one of those bad ass kids who have no better respect for their elders and uses curse words to express their inner feelings like the child displayed in this next video, then you as a parent should be beaten with a thin tree-switch.

I rest my case.  After seeing these videos, I’m sure you want to sit yourself down in a corner and either cry yourself to sleep out of guilt and shame or go home and punish your child for all the pranks they have yet to pull.  Either way, it’s time for you to take some responsibility.  You produced the sperm or the egg.  Now produce some results and teach your child to be a better adult than they are a spoiled or bad ass child. 

That’s it cats and kittens!  I think this is the point where I need to make my stage left exit.  I’m sure I’ve stepped on some toes while dotting my “I’s” and crossing my “T’s”.  So I’d better leave before a swarm of angry scardey cats, I mean parents, come after me with baseball bats and rusted pipes.  Remember, my door is always open and I courage you to stop by and visit me anytime.  Anytime before 11am that is.  If you knock on my door or ring my phone that early, I’ll cut your ass.  I promise I will. 

Until next time my little Peruvian unsalted cheese curls, and remember 90% of any effort is getting started. 

Quote of the week:     “If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.”

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11 thoughts on “THE DAMNED LIST: For Parents With Kids Out of Control in Public Places

  1. STELLAR!!!! I swear. I’m going to fwd this to all the parents on twitter. Not to pull out the race card but white people and their damn timeout. Smh. That’s why we have bad ass little bastards running around!

  2. I work in a grocery store. I see the most horrible children. And I see their shitty poor excuses for parents. They need a smack more than the kids.

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