Relationships aren’t just about pretty smiles, hypnotic eyes and fat asses. Sure, those may be some of the more important things to look out for, but if that’s all you’re focusing on before entering into a union with someone, then chances are you’re in for a world of trouble. All relationships require work, however before it begins, you need to know what to look out for to help determine if it’s even worth your time. You’ve probably settled for your last relationship and the one before that. If that’s the case, then you have all the information you need to spot a worthless relationship in the making.
I’d like to start off today’s lesson with a little motto that I think works for a multitude of situations: “When in doubt, get out.” Keeping that in mind, let’s begin with the signs of a settle.
Tip #1. If the only thing a person can communicate to you is sex, then you need to chop it up as a wrap. They’re attention span isn’t going to last longer than the amount of time it takes for you to remove your pants. This may be a good thing by the second or third date, when you’re horny enough to give it up, unless you’re just some kind of slut muffin who gives it up on the first date. If you are, then you might as well stop reading now, because no other tip will help you out. You’ve doomed yourself already by being so damn easy.
Tip #2. If your new mate is a party animal while you’re not, or vice versa, don’t bother. The road ahead will be rockier than a Bedrock sky scraper. It’s true that most people meet their matches in nightclubs or house parties, but it’s not always necessarily so that you or that person is a party type. Nine times out of ten, that very same party animal loves the nightlife and the dangers that come along with. For the individual that’s not used to living on the edge in the wee hours of the night, heartache and endless worries ensue. What goes on in the night when every eye is shut? Is it not true that the freaks come out at night? If you two aren’t evenly yolked in your ways of entertainment, then you could be wasting valuable time in meeting the love of your dreams. But if I were you, I wouldn’t totally give up on the thought of a good booty call. Some ass is better than none at all.
Tip #3. If you’re given no details of your mate’s personal life/business, then you’d better keep your eyes peeled for a shoe to drop somewhere along the line. This is a redflag and flashing neon sign that screams “There’s something to hide!” You’ll spend the majority of your time trying to figure out what the big secret is? Is it marriage? An alternative lifestyle? Kids? No job? No common sense? A sexaholic? An alcoholic? The possibilities are endless and you could wear yourself out trying to figure out the answers. Also keep in mind that if there are secrets in the beginning, this could lay the carpet for the road ahead. Watch your step before you fall into a ditch. Once you crawl out of the ditch, keep a shovel handy. You’re going to need it to cover the dirt over your mate once you’ve pushed them into the same ditch you fell into.
Tip #4. If the person only talks about him/herself, you need to run for the hills screaming with your hands waving in the air. That person is a selfish know-it-all who knows nothing about anything, unless that anything has something to do with them. Trust me, the conversation will get pretty boring very quickly when the subject begins and ends with them. The only thing you’d be willing to discuss at that point is them taking a gotdamn hike!
Tip #5. If you wind up meeting someone who’s best talent is complaining, quit while the going’s good. Nine times out of ten, you’ll never be good enough for them. Nothing you say, do, think, or feel will match up to their expectations and it wouldn’t be long before they try to change you and mold you into the person they want you to be. If you value yourself at all, don’t let someone else depreciate your worth. And if they attempt, whack them over the head with a 2×4 plank…then run before the cops come a-knockin’!
To put the matter mildly, what you settle for is what you get, so in order not to settle, you just have to put in a little effort and spot all the signs. Putting in a little effort is not as hard as you think. Afterall, 90% of any effort is getting started.
Quote of the week: “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”