Some people believe that bad luck doesn’t exist. Whether you’re one of those people or not, the thought has crossed your mind. You’re only human. Live a little. Why not take a shot in the dark and try to avoid those little unseen land mines?
Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Take heed. Knowledge is power.
___________________________________________________________
Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
If both of your personalities are getting on your nerves, that should tell you something.
___________________________________________________________
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
Manipulation is your best weapon. Remember that when rent is due.
___________________________________________________________
Pisces
February 19 – March 20
Think of 5 things that you would change about yourself. Now think about all the people who would agree. 
___________________________________________________________
Aries
March 21 – April 19
You don’t want anyone who doesn’t want you.
___________________________________________________________
Taurus
April 20 – May 20
Your neighbors’ constant loud partying at night is only bothering you because it’s not your neighbors at all — it’s the voices in your head.
___________________________________________________________
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
What you’ve been told all your life is a lie. Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day. Booze is.
___________________________________________________________
Cancer
June 21 – July 22
You know all that snickering you thought was going on behind your back? It wasn’t your imagination. Sticks and stones my ass. Payback, bitch!
___________________________________________________________
Leo
July 23 – August 22
If you didn’t have a Valentine’s Day date, wait until you see how Christmas turns out. If you did have a date, that was your Christmas.
___________________________________________________________
Virgo
August 23 – September 22
Just because you think you sound good singing in the shower doesn’t mean you sound good to anyone else. Don’t quit your day job.
___________________________________________________________
Libra September 23 – October 22
If your breath smells like you’ve been eating onion pizzas, something’s wrong.
___________________________________________________________
Scorpio
October 23 – November 21
Being called “Smutface” is not a compliment.
___________________________________________________________
Sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
Relax. Nothing bad is going to happen to you today. Tomorrow, on the other hand, is up in the air.
___________________________________________________________
Quote of the Week: “Blinking excessively is not sexy. It’s weird.”
