They’re Just Not That In To You

Unless you are one of the six people on the planet who are lucky enough to still be hitched to your high school sweetheart, you’ve experienced a failing relationship in some sense of the phrase.  At some point in your poor pathetic and loser-like past, your eyes have swelled and burned with tears of rejection.  You’ve lost sleep and weight wondering why things didn’t work between you and that someone you knew in your heart would be “the one” forever.  Though it’s probably too late to offer any advice over one of those past loves, it’s never too late to prepare yourself for the next heartbreak — and yes, there will always be heartbreak. 

No relationship is perfect and though you may be willing to put in the work to save something that’s crashing quickly, your mate may not be so enthusiastic.  One thing you may have to realize and accept is that you’re just not good enough to settle down with that person who doesn’t want you.  There’s no point in crying about it.  I am a firm believer that for every one good thing, there’s always something better.  So wipe those tears and pay close attention to the lesson you are about to learn.  Getting even may be fun but being hip to the game is more of an effective weapon than sitting at home lonely and depressed while your mate is out tossing their telephone number to anyone who isn’t you. 

Instead of cutting the crotches out of all of your boyfriend’s pants or putting super glue inside your girlfriend’s bra, it would benefit you more to know the signs of disinterest in your affair.  It could save you a lot of despondency in the long run.  It could also save you a few trips to the courthouse and avoid those charges that are pressed against you for your immature behavior in [not] accepting the truth. 

Let’s continue. 

Key Signs Your Mate is No Longer Interested

All things begin and end with communication.  In the beginning your lover can’t get enough of hearing all about you.  All the good, the bad and the down right stupid.  By the end of the relationship, you can talk until your voice is completely gone and that very same mate will not have heard a single word.  Not only because the sound of your voice has slowly become monotonous, but because they couldn’t give a sh*t.  They’d listen to you more if you were nowhere to be found. 

  • Save the time, energy and embarrassment on calling or texting.  If they aren’t going to pay any attention to you in person, the last thing they want to do is devote that much attention to reading your boring ass text messages or listening to your whiny voice over the phone. 
  • Sending emails is a bitch move.  They’re either going to delete your messages or send a “Dear John” letter in reply.  It’s more painful to be dumped via email than in person.  The written words have a longer lasting impact and your mate will have had time to think about how to tell you to take a muthaf*ckin’ hike! 

Spending time with each other will become a chore.  For you, spending time with your mate will be the highlight of your life.  That’s not necessarily a good thing because though you’d simply be looking forward to sharing bonding time, your lover will look at you in disgust — like a person who is allergic to wet alley mutts.  You’d look more pressed and stupid than you’d think.   

  • If you’re lucky or beg long enough, you might be able to get laid once a month – more if your partner likes to drink endless amounts of booze.  It’ll probably take that much liquor for them to be romantically interested in you. 
  • Don’t get your hopes up about going out.  They don’t want to be seen with you in public.  Hell, they don’t want to be seen with you in private.  Going out on a date with someone who could care less about you will only cramp their style.  Stop asking, stop hoping and find a life of your own.  A common problem in most relationships is that the couple tends to not have a life outside of each other.  Boredom quickly follows.  Then disloyalty.  Not necessarily in that order.
  • They won’t bother dressing up for you, either.  They may not even bother showering.  Any little thing that could possibly turn you off will be the name of the game.  Unless you’re a freak who likes the smell of musty armpits or other body parts, this is an immediate red flag.  Either they’re not interested in turning you on or they’re one dirty bitch.  My guess lies behind door #1. 

Other things to watch out for 

If you want to make sure you’re ahead of the game when it comes to someone being turned off by you and the relationship they share with you, then you need to make sure you are cognizant of the following signs:

___Listen out for words like “sure,” “whatever,” “I don’t care,” and the nonchalant shoulder shrug.  Don’t bother asking why they’re not into whatever it is you’re talking about, especially if you’re too weak to hear the truth.  It’s not the conversation; It’s YOU!

___ Pay attention to eye rolling or heavy sighing while you’re speaking.  This usually indicates they are getting tired of forcing themselves to listen to you. 

___ It will probably piss you off when you notice how often they text other people but never respond to any of your text messages.  When that starts happening, just blurt out “Let’s break up!” like you are ripping duct tape off of someone’s eyebrows. 

___ Listen for name dropping.  You can’t miss it because they will suddenly start calling the names of friends you’ve never heard of before during your entire time of dating.  When you ask them who those friends are, they will often go into defense mode and tell you they have friends that you don’t know about.  Be aware that those friends are either people they’re sleeping with or the kind of friends who are encouraging them to dump you.  Either way, you’re pretty screwed. 

Although there are a number of ways to determine just how bad things are between you and your other half, what you’ve just read here are the basics.  If you’re being avoided via telephone, email, in person or in the sack, then you’d better dust off your little black book and start making some back up calls now, otherwise the next few weeks are going to be very lonely and cold.  It doesn’t take that much to get on with your life but it does take a lot of effort.  The good news is 90% of any effort is getting started.  So go on.  Dry your eyes and pull out the skank gear!  If you ever needed an excuse to be a ho for a little while, now’s the perfect time.  No one will blame you.  You’re vulnerable and newly single.  You have to f*ck a few people to find out what you’ve been missing!  And the last I checked, sex was a good thing, especially if you’ve gotten accustomed to not getting any.   


Quote of the week:    “I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, “You’ll never find another like me again!”  I’m thinking, “I should hope not!  If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you?””     

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