You Are Your Own Funniest Joke

How many times do you wake up in the morning and roll out of bed, only to be awakened by the sound of your heavy ass body hitting the floor?  What about tripping up the escalator stairs as you come out of the subway station, running late for work, of course?  Dare you recount the number of times you couldn’t hold in that last bit of gas after wolfing down any value meal from the McDonald’s menu?  Though the average person may point their fingers and laugh at your clumsy or greedy ass, it saves you a red face if you can just learn to laugh at yourself.  Sure, sometimes you’d much rather stick your head in a deep hole like an ostrich in order to avoid certain types of embarrassment, but if you can’t find humor in your own mistakes then you damn sure have no right to point out the mistakes of others.  And everyone agrees that it’s fun to point out the mistakes of others.  Even if you don’t concur verbally, your inner “real person” would agree, as he/she reminds you of that one time where you were rightfully so the butt of the joke. 

Being clumsy may be something to laugh at, but it’s also something to smile about.  There are way too many people who take themselves [and life] too seriously.  Every now and then you should be reminded that your ass is stupid, lazy, clutzy, greedy or gassy.  It’s what makes you normal – whatever your definition of normal is.  If by normal, you think “farting in church during a silent prayer,” then go for it!  Sometimes no one around you will find your faults funny, but that’s all the more reason to laugh – in that case, at everyone else for not seeing the sense of humor in life…and the noise your butt makes when you accidentally poot in public.  Just hope Jesus finds it equally as funny come judgment day. 

Life is filled with “oops” moments.  For instance, forgetting to put on underwear and having a gust of wind expose your ass crack for all to see.  Most people would call you a skank, skeez, or whore.  However, there are some people who would commend you for being so openly slutty and would probably wink, smile or secretly toss their phone numbers at you on a wrinkled up napkin.  Another example is if you accidentally get a hard on at the beach when seeing some fine piece of hump-lay run past you, jiggling in all the right places.  Once again, there’s a perfect opportunity for someone to laugh at you for being so damn horny.  If you’re really confident in yourself, the joke will be on them when you stand at full attention and leave the beach hand in hand with someone who got all moist inside for checking you out from afar!  Whether you’re a clutz or a freak, just remember the wise words of the great Michael Jackson, “You Are Not Alone.”    

Whatever the reason anyone may have for acknowledging just how much of an idiot you are, laughing at yourself will ease the humiliation of being the talked-about loser that no one wants to be around.  Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and it keeps on laughing.  All it takes is a little effort.  And 90% of any effort is getting started.  The bottom line is, if everyone around is going to be laughing at you, you might as well be in on the joke.

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Quote of the week:   “Be thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of your nose.”

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