Apparently we have some tourists in the Hills of Hottywood who are unfamiliar with the way things work around here. So being the informant that I am, I will happily school the clueless on the rules and regulations of this here territory.
Unaware, I’m sure, that they were being pesky, annoying and a little obnoxious, those very same tourists bombarded me with a plethora of questions, requests and suggestions for change. And though I am one who very much so respects another’s opinion, when it comes to Hottywood, I run this town!
You may stick your suggestions in a suggestion box big or small enough to shove up your ass when you’re done, but what you suggest to me will not change the government where I am the president and the senate all rolled up into one overly attractive, witty and nonchalant leader. I built this town from the ground up and I’ll be damned if I let an ignorant day-tripper come in here and disrupt my land or its people.
Hottywood is a humble town. It’s also a kennel of man-eating mutts who eat the stupid for lunch like Scooby-snacks. So though you may think you’re gonna come in here and change the format, the only thing that’s gonna change is the color of your ass after it’s been kicked for not doing your homework before visiting strange grounds.
Now there is but only one rule here in Hottywood. And that one rule is that ‘I make the rules!’ If you can’t deal with that, then pack your bags and hitch-hike the hell out of here — cautiously, I might add, because the people of Hottywood are a very loyal people and we consider stupidity and ignorance as pollution.
Having said all that, I hope your stay with us is a pleasant one. And please, outside of disrupting the still waters, don’t hesitate to let us know what we can do to make your stay as delightful as possible, because we all aim to please which is not hard to do once we get started. Thank goodness 90% of any effort is getting started. Otherwise, you’d be sh*t up a creek.
Quote of the week: “Whenever there is a job that needs to be done, assign it to a lazy man. He is sure to find an easy way of doing it.”