Not every week can be as good as the last but there’s always fun in finding out what’s in store.
Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
Take heed. Knowledge is power.
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Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
It’s not a good thing if your fingers look like you’ve been changing oil all day.
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Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
Put your feet in the right place, then stand strong. Just make sure you’re not walking your dog at the time. NobodyLikesASh_ttyFoot.com
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Pisces
February 19 – March 20
Having toenails like a garden rake is not sexy.
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Aries
March 21 – April 19
It’s probably time to change your perfume/cologne if the scent of a backed-up toilet is the first thing people smell when you walk through the door.
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Taurus
April 20 – May 20
If you can draw a ‘Hop Scotch’ template on concrete with the heel of your foot, something’s definitely wrong.
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Gemini
May 21 – June 20
As long as you’re happy expecting nothing, you’ll never be disappointed.
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Cancer
June 21 – July 22
Age doesn’t protect you from love.
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Leo
July 23 – August 22
Blame someone else for all of your mistakes. Wear comfortable shoes.
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Virgo
August 23 – September 22
If you think you’re going out of your mind at work, you are. A cubicle is nothing more than a padded cell without a door.
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Libra September 23 – October 22
Whatever the law is that prohibits you from being wrong only exists in that little box that you live in.
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Scorpio
October 23 – November 21
Don’t leave your lunch on the side of a public restroom sink.
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Sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
Beware of cross-dressing midgets.
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Quote of the Week: “If Harry Potter is so magical, why can’t he cure is own eye sight?”
