Being comfortable in your own skin is never easy to do, no matter who may try to convince you otherwise. It’s not impossible, by far. For some it’s a skill that they were born with. For others, it takes a lifetime to learn. And sadly there are those who never find their comfort zone. It doesn’t lessen who you are. In fact, treading on unfamiliar territory within yourself pushes you into a determination to find something better for and within yourself. The trick is finding that something for the purpose and benefit for you, though. Not for anyone else.
People will try to pull out a better you for them. They’ll try to mold you into what they think you should be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all for malicious intent. You may think so if you’re not one of those kinds of people who are acclimated to criticism and change, but if you spend too much time worrying about who is not happy with who and how you are, you’ll never find the time to change what you’re not happy with about yourself.
Sometimes you just may have to listen to other people’s proposals because believe it or not, their very suggestions may be just what you need to be contented with you. Keep in mind that I said “sometimes,” because there are definitely those moments where you have to be strong enough to say “F*ck what you think. This is who I am; like or leave it.” But when you think about it, if you’re strong enough to tell someone to “f*ck off,” how insecure are you really? Does your insecurity become a game of mind over matter or are you just lucky enough to run across that one person whose mastered skill is to convince you that you are not as good as you are…or need to be?
The bottom line is that you have all the answers you need to answer all the questions that have you second-guessing yourself, but you need to be the one to ask those questions. Don’t leave it up to someone else. Because if you leave it up to them, they can put you in a much darker place than you’d be without their help. Being at ease within your own skin doesn’t mean making someone else comfortable with you. That’s false advertisement and you’d only be selling yourself short. No one’s going to pay that price but you. What it does mean is that you have to develop thicker skin. This is probably a good time to suggest lathering your body in shellac, but truth be told that’s probably not environmentally safe, so that only leaves you to do it the old-fashioned way — toughen up, Jack! You came into this world by yourself – unless you’re a twin, triplet, quadruplet, quintuplet…you get my point so that’s probably not a good analogy. Ah screw it. In the game of life, it’s generally every man for himself. And if you don’t have the chops to be who you are, even confident in your own insecurities, then chances are you’re screwed and you just need to sit your weak ass down. I’m just kidding. …a little bit of tough love.
Using that example, though, I bet you wanted to tell me to go shove it (you better not, but I bet you wanted to). That’s the inner strength you need to tap into in order to be complacent with being who you are for you. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. People are going to have perceptions about you whether they make it known or not, but if you had to choose between them and yourself, who would you put first? The only answer should be “you.” If it’s not, then try harder. After all, 90% of any effort is getting started. As long as there’s comfort in knowing that bit of truth, your victory is just around the corner, along with the satisfaction of telling your nay-sayers, “Na na na boo boo, bitches.”
Quote of the week: “No one will have faith in you if you don’t have it within yourself.”