Guys & Gals, do you know what day it is? It’s the day of Hottywood’s 200th post!
That’s right. 100 posts ago we celebrated the shiftiness of awry relationships, bad first dates, lame businesses and the people that run them, chicken wing thieves and the shenanigans of self-absorbed people. And now, 100 posts later, we break out the fire extinguisher to douse the flames of hot ass liars, cheaters, promise-breakers, seasonal friendships, silent crushes and bad choices that church goers make.
The last 200 posts in review haven’t been all bad. In addition to the help we’ve all received from Hottywood’s HORRORscopes, we’ve stumbled upon a world of unconventional advice from “Ask Hottywood!”, celebrated youth and their writing talents with the Jr. Hottywood Writer of the Month Initiative, dug up dirt on groundbreaking news of the happenings in the Hills of Hottywood and met the cast of the scandalous forthcoming Hottywood Helps: The Web-Series!
It is true that the past 200 posts have been filled with bumps in the road but thanks to those bumps we can appreciate smooth sailing after repairing our tires from life’s potholes. I’d be lying if I said the road traveled was easy. And though some days have been harder than others, those days were not without purpose.
Today I do not simply celebrate 200 posts of poking fun at people who foam out the corners of their mouth, or walk with paper towels under their armpits to soak up the excessive amount of sweat moisture. Today is not about the victory of winning battles over competitive coworkers, associates, or customers who demand “Grade A” customer service when their people skills suck ass. It is not about honoring people who unconsciously spit on your food when they talk. Today I celebrate YOU – the readers! I celebrate your warped out senses of humor; your refreshing delusions; your unbelievable questions; your giggles; your support; and even your doubts and hate mail. I celebrate those who actually take the time to read. I celebrate all those who accept my challenge to think for themselves before seeking approval to do some of the dumb sh*t they do. I celebrate YOU because you’ve made this long walk a fun journey for my aching feet.
I thank you and I invite you to stick around for another 200 posts. There are great things in store for Hottywood Helps and it wouldn’t be much fun if I didn’t have you to share in the joy. Now let us all turn to our neighbors, grab them by the nipples and say the following words: “Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.”
Peace, love and chicken grease to all my favorite mofos and mofettes! Always remember that “90% of any effort is getting started.” Now let’s eat cake!
Quote of the week: “A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain.”