This week will be a joy ride and there’s much to be told. So sit back and be patient as the scroll unfolds.
When you’ve run out of “woulds,” and “shoulds,” and “coulds…” who’s the first person you think of?
HOTTYWOOD!
Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
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Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
Watching episodes of ‘90210’ doesn’t give you street cred. _________________________________________________________
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
It’s not wise to wear a suit made of metal on a day that it rains.
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Pisces
February 19 – March 20
A donkey’s lips do not fit onto a horse’s mouth.
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Aries
March 21 – April 19
It’s better to be a ‘used to be’ than a ‘wanna be’ because most ‘wanna bes’ quickly become ‘has beens.’
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Taurus
April 20 – May 20
The holes in your socks have a bigger reputation than you do. _________________________________________________________
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
No chicken has any business hanging out with a bunch of turkeys.
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Cancer
June 21 – July 22
You have a lot to learn about eating spaghetti with your fingers.
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Leo
July 23 – August 22
Stooping low is the best way to spy.
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Virgo
August 23 – September 22
Breaking wind is natural. It’s called “butt-belching.”
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Libra
September 23 – October 22
A social event that involves an intellectual discussion about foot sweat concealed in a ziploc bag will occur.
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Scorpio
October 23 – November 21
Today you are feeling especially sensual and passionate. Go to the grocery store and squeeze some melons. All eyes and handcuffs will be on you.
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Sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
Everyone tells you that you must learn to laugh at yourself, which means there can’t be any harm in laughing at other people.
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Quote of the week: “Change is good. Changing your socks is necessary.”