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I have been going through a lot of life-altering changes recently; going from being completely taken care of by Granny to being all on my own with basically no one to call on. I have gone from being on my own to becoming a parent and having a life that I am responsible for. To top it off, since the death of my grandmother, it has been one obstacle to overcome after another.
The only thing that plagues me is that I feel depressed a lot. Feelings of rage, anxiety, sorrow, joy and fright riddle me throughout each day. Not saying that I have the market cornered on suffering, but it feels very overwhelming. I have noticed a serious change in how I act now versus before my grandmother’s death. I feel lost; like no one really cares at all for me. I never did well with love and true friends are few and far between. I have thought about getting counseling or something but I don’t feel that I am crazy. I just feel so alone at times. *Sigh*
I don’t know what I’m asking really, Hottywood. Maybe I should ask, “How do I get myself back to myself?”, if u can understand what that means.
SOS please send help!!!!
You make it really difficult to make a heavy situation light. Let me begin by telling you that I understand completely where you are coming from. Life is not easy. In fact, it’s hard as sh*t. But if you want my opinion, and it’s obvious that you do because you asked for it, the answer itself is simple. The act however will not come so easy.
You’ve suffered a great loss with the death of your grandmother. And my condolences go out to you and your family. What I am going to need for you to try to do is understand that your grandmother has lived a full life. She’s no doubt seen hard times. She’s raised her children, been dissed by family and friends; laughed; loved; and lost. Her time to go home to glory was the will of God. But during her time here on Earth, she’s left behind a legacy. You.
She’s taught and given you everything that you need to continue living and growing in your life so that you may be just as strong for your child as she was for you. This is not a time to mourn her. Especially with the way things are now in this world; sky rocketing gas prices; tsunamis; and KFC being accused of not selling real chicken. This is a time to thank and celebrate her for all that she’s given to you.
Now you have to take all the strength that she instilled in you and apply it to yourself. Trouble doesn’t last always, so as long as you allow yourself to feel depressed by the natural and immoral pitfalls of life, you’ll condemn yourself to be a repeat offender of something you can’t control.
Friends, jobs and relationships come and go so there’s no need to dwell on those. The words, “EFF THEM” comes to mind but what would Granny say? All those changes that you are going through are signs that are letting you know that it’s time to take another step in your life and move the hell on from those menial things. Most friends are not friends at all. Most jobs are not careers and most relationships only take place after 9:30pm.
Stop focusing on the negative and start looking towards the positive. You have your health, your mind and your baby. What else do you need? You ought to take the values that you’ve gained from your Granny and love and teach your baby to grow up to be strong, healthy and happy. You are the lifeline now. You can’t grow without a little struggle. We all need a little dirt to grow. You can’t appreciate the good if you don’t experience the bad. The way I see it, life is a wheel. What’s down today will be up tomorrow. Be patient, trusting and faithful in my main man J. Christ and trust that what he has for you is for you.
Now if my answers have not satisfied you, then may I suggest you strip and run naked through the hallways of a conservative donut shop exclusive only to those persons who have given up sex for the taste of powdered sugar? See where that lands you and then tell me how depressed you are.
Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning…and that saying has nothing to do with booty calls. Time heals all wounds. The first thing you gotta do is look at the glass of kool-aid as being half full instead of half empty. You’ll be okay because you have to be. You have to be fine for your baby first and for yourself second. As for everyone and everything else, they’re just players on the chess board. And at the end of the game all the pieces go back into the same box.
“You can’t grow without a little struggle.”
You don’t need luck. You need faith. But I’ll pray for you any how.