It wouldn’t be right if everything was right. So if everything is right, something’s wrong. Live in the now but be ready for next; for you have entered tomorrow just now.
This week is not destined and there’s much to be told. So sit back and be patient as the scroll unfolds.
When you’ve run out of “woulds,” and “shoulds,” and “coulds…” who’s the first person you think of?
HOTTYWOOD!
Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.
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Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
If you lie three times on Thursday, you will be dipped in hamburger meat, handcuffed to a postman and serve as a canine diversion on his mail run. _________________________________________________________
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
Even when game has pulled the wool over your eyes and everything is as dark as it seems, there is always a bright side.
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Pisces
February 19 – March 20
Chewing potato chips while talking to someone on the phone causes cancer.
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Aries
March 21 – April 19
Someone is really into you and plays the game of cat and mouse very well. Intriguingly enough for the chase but not so for the catch.
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Taurus
April 20 – May 20
Man can not survive off the fat of the land alone. _________________________________________________________
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Don’t open every door that knocks because you never know who is standing on the other side.
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Cancer
June 21 – July 22
Waiting for someone to throw the first punch may be morally correct but it’s realistically stupid…and potentially painful.
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Leo
July 23 – August 22
Free yourself from stress by being an asshole to someone else.
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Virgo
August 23 – September 22
There’s more to life than having everything.
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Libra
September 23 – October 22
You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.
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Scorpio
October 23 – November 21
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That’ll teach you to keep your mouth shut.
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Sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
You can resist everything but temptations.
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Quote of the week: “Always give 100% at work:
- Monday – 13%
- Tuesday – 22%
- Wednesday – 26%
- Thursday – 35%
- Friday – 4%”
