This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

Dear Hottywood,

After working at my job for almost 10 years, I’ve been informed via email that my job may be in jeopardy due to budget restraints.  I’ve sacrificed a lot for this company and have often been considered an essential employee [especially during freak snow blizzards and unrealistic slave labored work hours].  I am seriously in my feelings!  Do you have any suggestions on how to get the upper hand on this situation?   

~Out of Pocket

Dear Out of Pocket, 

First and foremost you need to pray.  You need to pray for clarity, sanity, and eventual peace of mind.  The reasoning for your job’s demise sounds exceptional and common.  When any job comes to an end, especially when it’s not by your choice, feelings are bound to get involved. Your frustration is understandable but the truth of the matter is there ain’t a damn thing you can do about your company’s finances so there’s no need to settle in your rippled emotions.  

The cliché side of my personality urges me to tell you that everything happens for a reason, and that this is probably a blessing in disguise that should, can or eventually will motivate you to find a gig more suitable to you and your needs.  

On the other hand, the psychotic side of my personality pushes me to whisper a song of hope in your ear.  Hope that your job’s bathroom toilets will all clog at the same time until the commode water rises high enough to drown all the fuse boxes and electrical sockets, inevitably causing the building to explode like a gigantic 4th of July fireworks show.  You could also drive your car into the side wall of the outer exterior of the building, but after doing so you’d better run like the wind because not only will you be out of a job, you’ll be sitting in a jail cell with a bald-headed bank robber that hasn’t had sex in about six years.  Personally I think dealing with someone taking your job is an easier pill to swallow than someone taking your ass, but that’s just me.  When you look at it in that respect things don’t seem quite as bad, do they?  

“Today is the tomorrow you hoped for yesterday.” 


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