I met a guy on Thursday and slept with him on Friday and one week later, have not heard from him. Is it [as bad as I’m told] that I slept with him on the first date?
Dear Deep Sheets,
While it is highly recommended that you don’t open up the garage door for the first car willing to pull in, the answer to this question really depends on two things: who you ask and their personal code of ethics.
Most women would tell you it’s not so good to sleep around on the first date because it makes you look easy. Of course when I say “easy” I’m being delicate with my words. The majority of women [that I know] would use alternative words like “skankish,” “classless,” “whorish,” “slutty,” and “desperate.” Those same women would question the amount of respect you have for yourself and your body. Because I have no breasts or a uterus I don’t exactly feel the same way. As far as I’m concerned, women have the same sexual needs and/or desires that men have. Unfortunately, society views female bed hoppers differently than men. To question someone’s amount of self respect is speculation, and personal morality aside no one has a right to label you based on the freedom of your loins. That’s your pu**y and you can give it up to anyone you want to. However from a man’s perspective, I wouldn’t advise any woman to lay up with a dude so quickly if she expects anything more out of the relationship beyond bedroom walls.
The short answer to your question, in my honest opinion, is that you should keep your legs closed if you expect a guy to see you in your purest light. Most guys are not going to turn down the booty no matter when you decide to give it up. Whatever the case you must be careful not to confuse his thinking from the head on his shoulders with the head in his pants, especially in this day and age. In the heat of the moment no man is going to stop and question you about your integrity. Once you take it all off the only thing he’s going to see is a flashing “WELCOME” sign hovering over a big ass vagina. And after he’s banged your back out and has driven off into the sunset, he’s going to question who else and how many others have painted your walls, leaving your ivory snowflakes to melt in wet crimson red stains. He may not even necessarily view you as all of the above mentioned labels but he will also not see you as potential “wife” material because you, in a matter of moments, took on the role of the “other” woman rather than the woman to settle down with.
Now don’t get me wrong. Not all men will scratch you off the list because of your invasive approach to sexual fulfillment. There are cases where you don’t get the morning after call because the connection – sexual or mental – wasn’t there.
Next time, before you jump the gun and jump in the sack with the first guy you think is sexy enough to jump your bones, you need to evaluate both you and him. Determine what your intent is first and get a feel for where his head is (no pun intended). You may be surprised to learn that sex has nothing to do with why he hasn’t called you, which if you ask me is a harder pill to swallow than being too easy too soon.