Dear Hottywood,

Lately my friends (if that’s what you want to call them) have been giving me a lot of flack for going to restaurants alone.  Does that make me look pathetic?  

~Entourage 

Dear Entourage, 

Eating alone in public doesn’t make you look pathetic. It just makes you look as if you have no friends, which is only pathetic if in fact you have no friends. 

Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with eating alone – especially if you have a bunch of voices in your head to keep you company. Instead of looking at the loneliness of eating at a table for one, look on the bright side. There’s more food for you; you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s unwashed hands dipping onto your plate; and you don’t have to pretend to care about a meaningless, pointless, and uninteresting conversation, which in turn gives you more time to count the number of times you chew your food. And if these aren’t enough reasons to keep your confidence up while all the partnered up peeps are staring at you dine by yourself, keep in mind that your friends may be giving you a lot of flack because they’re either too cheap or too poor to go out to eat with you. 

PS, if you need someone to go out to eat with you, just give me a call.  YOU pay and I’ll pick-pocket someone for the tip!  Deal? 

Hottywood