This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

Dear Hottywood, 

Not too long ago I got myself wrapped up in a financial bind. I turned to my family for help – I’m still determining if that was a good idea or not. Since turning to them all of my business has been circulating amongst the family circuit. I’m tempted to withdraw my request for help, although I still need it. What should I do?  

Strapped for Cash 

Dear Strapped for Cash, 

Everyone needs help. I know how stressful it can be to need help and have to deal with petty bullshit on top of the stress you’re already dealing with. But let’s face facts – and these are your words, not mine – “I’m tempted to withdraw my request for help, although I still need it.” You need to swallow either your pride or a big chunk of humble pie and get over yourself long enough to steer clear of this bind you’re tangled up in. Why do I say that? 

  1. If all your business is circulating among your family, you’ve nothing to hide. The damage is done.
  2. If your family is helping you get your priorities straight, it shouldn’t matter who’s telling your business. That’s most likely the least of your concerns. If they’re helping you, especially financially, they’ve paid for their right to discuss your affairs. At least that’s the way they see it.
  3. You should be more worried about getting yourself out of your bind than protecting your ego. Own up to the mistake you’ve made then learn from it so you don’t be the same fool twice.
  4. Being adamant about your privacy is going to make you look crazier than the mess you’ve gotten yourself into because you’re putting your focus on a less pressing concern. 

Family is going to talk about you. That’s what they do. You need to stand on your head and look at the Kool Aid glass as half full instead of half empty. If they are discussing your business behind your back, who cares? They’ve probably been discussing you before all this mess got started and will continue to do so when it’s all said and done. You’re still getting the help you need right? Suck it up and take the bitter with the street. They’re getting the satisfaction of having some juicy gossip while you’re getting the satisfaction of having someone do for you that which you can’t do for yourself. It may feel unfair but it’s an even trade. 

Rest in the comfort of knowing that everyone screws up from time to time and for every good and bad thing that you do, someone has or will do something better or worse. Take a chill pill and relax. Before you know it you’ll be the one talking about someone behind their back. Then the world can revolve around you and everything will be back to normal.


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