This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

Dear Hottywood,  

I’ve been hollering at this girl for the last two weeks. The positive is that she’s a nice girl. A pretty girl. The negative is that since we’ve been talking, all she talks about is sex. Naturally I want to hit it but contrary to what she thinks (or wants) I have more to offer than just di-k. In theory she could very well be the one but I never thought I would have to mould my soul mate. That isn’t gay or anything is it?  

After Hours 

Dear After Hours 

Not wanting to discuss sex with this chick (or anyone, for that matter) 24/7 doesn’t make you gay. It makes you mature. To be quite honest with you, it’s refreshing to hear from a dude with more than just pu—y on his mind. 

I’m not going to tell you that this broad isn’t the perfect one for you, but if you’re in doubt after 14 days, chances are you aren’t too far off the mark. After all, men [and women] know when they’ve met the one after the first date…even more commonly after the first 15 minutes of conversation. 

You can either tell her how you feel and give her a chance to discover another kind of conversation other than what she picked up from old Vanessa Del Rio movies or you can bone her and move on. Be warned that if you choose door #2, and the sex turns out to be as good as she anticipates, you will have a whole other problem on your hands so it’s probably best that you have a sit down with her and tell it like it is! As long she continues to wear her vagina on her sleeve, chances are she’s going to have this same problem with the next man in her life. And it’s most likely that the next man won’t have his morals in check like you seemingly do. 

If you don’t feel like wasting your breath explaining to her that there’s more to life than lube, rubbers or raw boning, screw her and leave $20 on the nightstand after the deed is done. Maybe she’ll feel cheap enough to re-evaluate her whore-like tendencies. You will have gotten some ass and [presumably, if she doesn’t like the emotionless treatment] she’ll feel too used to call you again. It’s a win/win for you provided she doesn’t pass some kind of an STD on. That’s the chance you’ll take for following the instinct of the head in your pants versus the one on your shoulders.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s