This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

Dear Hottywood,  

I’m doing volunteer work at a job that I really love, but my supervisor treats me as if I’m receiving a paycheck every two weeks. What can I do to make her get off my back?  

Volunteer JD127 

Dear Volunteer JD127 

The easy answer to this question would be to quit…or fold your hands under your armpits and flap them like a duck. Oddly, I seem to be the only person that finds that enjoyable so I have five other suggestions for you: 

  1. Tell your boss to back the hell off or else consider the cuss out she has coming as your official letter of resignation. Be careful with that threat though, because if you’re already working for free, your $0 salary won’t be missed. 
  2. Show up to work wearing an “I work for peanuts” t-shirt. That’ll send a message out to your supervisor with an implication that you are either tired of working for no pay or you’re too cheap, poor, or ignorant to wear more work appropriate clothes. 
  3. Walk around the office with a coffee mug and refuse to do any tasks or assignments unless someone drops a coin in the cup (accept nothing smaller than a quarter). NO REFUNDS. 
  4. Tell your boss to kiss part of your ass. You don’t want to offend her by telling her to kiss your entire ass so part will do. Particularly the part where the shit comes out. 
  5. Lastly, if none of the other suggestions work out in your favor find a new place to render your services. As long as you are working like a dog for a master that’s not giving up a bone, you hold all the power. Trust me. Finding a job to hire you for no pay is probably the easiest thing in the world to do. 

If you’re going to be expected to work hard, then money, respect and free lunch should be the first three things on your list of priorities.

Hottywood

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