Dear Hottywood,  

I’ve been having a string of bad luck with women. Getting a date, or even just sex, isn’t a problem. I just can’t seem to find a quality woman. I’m constantly running into women that are more interested in settling down with a ‘bad boy,’ which, as luck would have it, I am not. What is wrong with me? Why are women attracted to bad boys?  

Door Number Three 

Dear Door Number Three, 

You are asking a question most ‘good’ guys have been asking for generations. I’ve had a chance to survey a group of women on this inquiry and my findings have been quite interesting. 

It seems that in an attempt to make their women happy, good guys are a lot softer than guys with a bad boy image. That’s not to be confused with sexuality or masculinity. Guys that stand in the public eye as an ideal man to settle down with seemingly go the extra mile to extend the life of their relationships. For example, good guys tend to let their women make most or all of the decisions ranging from what/where to eat, what movies/channels to watch, all the way down to when and how to make love. Though women like to feel included in their relationship(s), they by nature are backseat driving leaders. They run their household, take care of their kids and often times serve as both mother and father.

Women are attracted to bad boys because that untamed image displays a straight to the point assertiveness that most good guys hold back in an effort to please their women. Bad boys tell their women what they want, when they want it and how they want it. They make the rules and decisions and their word is usually final. They omit sappy emotions and often put themselves first. They allow a woman to sit back and be a passenger on the ride of a relationship. Even if and when the ride is bumpy, the woman does not have to take control of the wheel.  Women love nice guys but sometimes being too nice is bad – boring even. They don’t necessarily want a guy to be a jerk. They don’t want him to be a pushover either. They don’t want to be controlled but they sometimes want someone else to take control. 

If you’re insistent that your concern is a matter of good guy vs. bad boy, embrace your inner jerk every now and then and see where that leads you. Take off your dress and put on a spine. Don’t ask questions, make statements. Don’t give a choice, make a decision. Tell your lady friend(s) what you want and what you don’t want. Don’t entertain their arguments [all the time]. Don’t drop your hat when they call your name. You might find it surprising that chicks will find that untapped part of you as attractive as the smell of icing on a cake is to a fat kid. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not encouraging you to become a just-add-water asshole. I’m only suggesting that you jag your edges a little bit.

Keep in mind though that your problem of settling down with quality women may not necessarily have anything to do with you. You could just be dealing with the wrong [type of] women. If that’s the case find a new place to hang out.

Hottywood