Within the last few days, I asked a friend of mine for help on a number of projects, both personal and professional. With each inquiry he’s declined my request for help. He told me he didn’t have time to worry about my issues and his too. I’m a little frustrated and even more offended by his response. How should I reply?
One Man Show,
Dear One Man Show,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you don’t have a right to be offended. I can understand your being frustrated but being offended is going out on a limb. It’s possible his response could be taken harshly if you don’t have thick skin. Instead of being pissy over old boy telling you “No,” why don’t you try to look at the situation from his point of view?
“Within the last few days I asked a friend…for help on a number of projects, both personal and professional. He told me he didn’t have time to worry about my issues and his too.”
What he’s telling you is that he has a lot on his plate. He either sounds stressed out, overworked and/or simply unable to deal with his load in addition to the “number of projects, both personal and professional” that you are asking his help for. He’s not only being honest with you, he’s making you take responsibility for your own shit. You can’t get mad at him for not being able to do for you that which you should be doing for yourself.
Your response to him ought to be “Thank you,” because I’m pretty sure if you had the kahunas to ask him to help you out on a number of projects within the last few days, you asked him because he’s helped you in the past. Don’t get greedy and don’t become complacent in what someone can do or has done for you. Man up and handle your business. While you’re at it, I might also suggest that you don’t burn any bridges. If you needed his help in the past, you never know if and when you’re going to need him again.
If I were you, I’d be satisfied with someone telling me they don’t have time to deal with my issues rather than telling me “F*ck no,” or “F*ck off.” What you need to do now is smile and move on to Plan B.