Welp, they said it couldn’t be done but I am one to defy all odds. Four years ago when I started HottywoodHelps.com I was a spry ??? year old and today I’m happy to say I’ve not aged a bit! I don’t look a day older than then, if I do say so myself (and I do say so). Whoever said “Everyone must eventually grow old” obviously never drank brandy out of a coffee mug while standing on their head and singing the theme song to the Facts of Life in pig Latin.
That’s the secret to staying young.
Maybe it’s my fault for not sharing. For the last four years I’ve advised everybody on everything except how not to grow old. Call me selfish. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to keep that little secret all to myself, much like I do buckets of chicken wings. Can you blame me? Well, I really don’t care if you do blame me because as of today, now that I’m ??? years old again I can honestly say I’m officially at the age where I can say and do anything I damn well please and not give a flying fig what anyone thinks about it.
And right now all I want to do is paaaar-tay!
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y H O T T Y W O O D