This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

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QUESTION: How do you respond to that awkward silence that follows an unreciprocated confession of “I love you?”

AwkwardA friend of mine posted an interesting comment on Facebook the other day that really got me thinking. It was along the lines of “That awkward silence that follows an unreciprocated confession of “I love you.”” Though it isn’t a traditional Ask Hottywood question, I have to ask myself is there a proper way of breaking the silence when you can’t say what the other person is waiting to hear?

If I were to answer myself, I’d say “Self…,” because that’s what I call myself. “There isn’t a proper way of telling anyone that you aren’t vibing with them the way they see in their mind. You’re damned if you respond and damned if you don’t.

Think about it. If you reply with an insincere “I love you,” you’d be a big fat liar and stuck with faking an emotion for someone you’d probably cheat on later down the line. If you reply with “Um, thanks…,” “You do?” “Really?” or “What a coincidence; I love me, too,” you are admitting that you’d rather pull your tongue out of your mouth rather than say those three little words that you don’t mean. Having no response at all is no different than changing the subject. While you may be able to fake the funk in that person’s company, if you don’t respond to their heart-felt gut spilling, you are blatantly admitting to leading them on – at least that’s the way they’d see it. Most likely they are going to wonder why you spend enough time with them to allow them to fall in love with you if you don’t feel the same way. Soon after they are likely to deem you a confused player who is full of nothing but bullshit, lies and games. On the bright side, though, if you’re lucky they’ll retract their “I love you” and opt never to speak to you again. When that happens you can rebut by calling them selfish, but you’d still be pinned with the label of being a confused player who is full of nothing but bullshit, lies and games.

Face it. This is a battle you can’t win.

I guess if you feel someone getting ready to profess their love for you, and you can’t counter the words, your best option would be to French kiss them long and hard, and by “long” I mean forever because once that kiss is over you’re back at square one. Another option would be to clock them over the head with a crystal vase, but you’d have one hell of a mess to clean up, not to mention a restraining order, pending you don’t get your ass beat to death for clobbering someone over the head (of course after they wake up from their coma). Or you could run for the hills with your hands waving in the air like a normal crazy person. Your choices are limited, but it beats standing there with a dumb look on your face as you ask yourself, “How am I going to get out of this one?”

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