This Week on, “Ask Hottywood!”

Dear Hottywood, 

Without going too much into detail about a story regarding someone that chose to learn a lesson the hard way instead of listening to my advice, my general question to you is “what’s a nice way to tell someone, ‘I told you so’?” 

Kierra 

Dear Kierra,

In all honesty, no one likes to be told “I told you so” so no matter how you say it, the person you’re saying it to will want to pour old hot dog water on you.

I was raised to believe that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t  say anything at all. And since saying “I told you so” isn’t such a nice thing to hear (it obviously must not be such a nice thing to say either), the nicest way to say it is to laugh at the person hysterically. Laughing will make you feel good and no one can get mad at you for not saying those three little words that may get you punched.

Alternatively you can say “I told you so” like this:

“Te lo dije”. ~ Spanish

“Je vous l’avais bien dit.” ~ French

“لقد قلت لكم ذلك”. ~ Arabic

“Én megmondtam.” ~ Hungarian

“Te l’avevo detto.” ~ Italian

“私はあなたに言った。” ~ Japanese

“我告訴過你了。” ~ Chinese, or

“I oldtay ouyay osay.” ~ Pig Latin

If you can’t pronounce any of these languages then stick with laughing and pray you never have to go to them for advice, because if you do they may purposely steer you wrong in high hopes of laughing at your ass in the end.

If however you choose not to follow my advice and wind up being laughed at or doused with hot dog water, I will not hesitate to tell you I TOLD YOU SO.

Hottywood

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