I’ve been in a dating slump lately. With that said, my ex (we broke up eight months ago) whom I thought I loved, has “seemingly” come back into the picture – not surprisingly with one thing in mind. When he returned to my life, the first thing he wanted to discuss was sex but knowing I’m not that type of girl he chose to talk about our failed relationship instead/first. We had an extensive text conversation followed by a face-to-face conversation which resulted in him blaming me for the demise of our relationship (for lack of better word, because it sure as hell wasn’t a relationship). When I saw that things were going nowhere, I decided to give in and just have sex with him, not for his sake but for the sake of my own needs. I’m not shocked that I haven’t heard from him since, but I’m kind of in my feelings and don’t know why. Can you shed some light on why I can’t let go of what was never there?
Sexually Satisfied but Not Emotionally
Dear Sexually Satisfied but Not Emotionally,
It’s evident that you still harbor feelings for this fool and yet you are letting him make a fool out of you. Let me start off by saying that if your ex (or anyone for that matter) insists on holding on to his pride, ego or excuses instead of holding on to you, it’s time to let go.
You didn’t indicate exactly why your relationship failed but rather he blamed you for the demise, yet he returned for some ass (???). Can we say RED FLAG? I would have suggested you not give in to him, but I totally understand having needs. Everyone has needs and need to get laid from time to time.
Here is your reality check, though: If you saw no successful result at the end of the texted or face-to-face conversation about your past relationship, then you wasted your fingertip strength, your breath and your time; if you gave up the booty and he hasn’t responded to you afterwards in any way, shape or form, and you still can’t see where he’s coming from, then you need a piano to fall on your head. Trust me. You don’t want that. It hurts; if you slept with him simply to satisfy your needs then maybe you ought to be satisfied with that. Stop putting your eggs in his basket. He doesn’t want your eggs. He wants your basket.
You’re probably holding on to something that isn’t or never was there simply because you want it but don’t have it [right now] or [think you] can’t get it. But the truth is you can have everything you want if you don’t act pressed, foolish or blind – especially not for him. You can probably do better. You probably should hold out for better. You should probably tell yourself that you deserve better. You’ll probably get something or someone better once you believe and accept there’s something better out there for you. Once you accept that then his BS will be just as much of a joke as you are to him. In the meantime if you want to phuck him to satisfy your sexual desires then may I suggest you learn how to separate your emotional feelings from your physical?