Sometimes it’s kind of nice to watch people make fools of themselves. Their idiocy reminds you that you’re not the only dummy strolling the streets of Earth. How does one make a fool of him/herself? The possibilities are endless. But I’ll name a few ways just to satisfy you. If anything listed below summarizes you in any way, then rest assured that someone is relishing in your jackassdom.
Ugly people that think more attractive people want them for their sex appeal. USUALLY THE ATTRACTIVE PERSON WANTS SOMETHING TANGIBLE FROM THE UGLY PERSON; CHASE DREAMS. NOT PEOPLE.
Unintelligent people that purchase personality glasses in an array of colors, and always seem to use a word in the wrong context. DUMMY.
People that eat peanut butter sandwiches without having a beverage to wash it down with. GENIUS.
Miley Cyrus. NUFF SAID.
Coworkers, colleagues, and/or supervisors that don’t know they are the butt of all office jokes. IF THEY TALKED ABOUT JESUS, THEY’RE SURE AS HELL GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU.
Anyone that hides their dirty little secrets inside their medicine cabinet. 40% OF ALL HOUSE GUESTS SNOOP THROUGH YOUR MEDICINE CABINET. LET’S SEE IF THAT HELPS YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT.
Anyone that doesn’t know a McDonald’s menu by heart. THE MENU HASN’T CHANGED IN FOREVER YEARS, MORON. “SECURITY!”
All those persons that have no idea what the word “groaking” means. Clue – #NOGREEDIES!
Delusional folks that think they know you based on a relationship you’ve established on a social network. GET A LIFE, LOOSER. ON PAPER I LOOK LIKE I STEPPED OUT OF A MAGAZINE. IN REAL LIFE I HAVE A UNIBROW AND MY TWO BIG TOES’ NAILS CONNECT MAGNETICALLY. BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNEW THAT.
Miley Cyrus. OH WAIT…WELL, NEVER MIND. SHE’S A REPEAT OFFENDER (WHOM I SECRETLY LOVE).
People that release silent farts and think no one smells that shit. IF IT WASN’T ME THEN OBVIOUSLY…… Granny used to always say “Better to let it out and be ashamed than to hold it back and bust a vein!”
People that think their opinions are only worth $.02. WHAT THE HELL IS $.02 GONNA BUY? YOU CAN KEEP THAT!
The best thing is that the list goes on, so when you stop to think about all the dumb stuff [other] people do, think, and say, something about their stupidity makes you feel a little bit better about yourself. Who wouldn’t appreciate that warm fuzziness?
Quote of the Week: “Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.”