DAMN: Testosterone Boosting Aides are Just as Bad as Having Man Cramps

Cry BabyIf you’re a man that has just discovered this little thing called IMS – Irritable Male Syndome – the male version of PMS, then have I got some news for you…and it ain’t all good.

Before I begin, let me start by telling you that when a man experiences IMS (his monthly), he experiences a drop in his testosterone levels. This is why he bitches and whines like a girl (hey, I was raised by a family of six women who always associated their bitchiness with their menstrual cycles, so there’s no need to come after me with a crowbar for that statement. The “bitchiness” line comes from that brood of women. It’s THEIR word, not mine. I just so happen to agree with them. Those bitches are crazy!).

AnyHOO, after doing a little reading during my morning commute to the office, I found that a new Veteran Affairs study shows testosterone creams, gels and patch use is proving to be pretty risky, increasing risks of heart attacks, stroke and death in men with low hormone levels and other health problems. The study raised concerns about the widely used testosterone aides that are heavily marketed for low sex drive, [fatigue and purported anti-aging benefits].

Mood SwingIn case you have no idea what that means, if a man is on his period and his testosterone level is equivalent to that of estrogen, and suddenly he can’t get his junk to rise or he’s just not sexually motivated, being on his period isn’t the only reason for him to be mad as hell. Now that there’s a risk in applying testosterone boosting aides, there’s not a damn thing that man can do but wait for his levels to rise so he can “man up” again and put it down in the chambre. In simpler terms, while a man is on his period, sex isn’t likely because his penis is limp; and he’ll probably get no attention from any women because no woman, except fag hags, like men that act like bitches.

If you ask me, this is looking like this is a no win situation. Somewhere in the world there’s a woman laughing at a man on his period and pointing her finger at him while chanting, “Nananabooboo!” Let’s just hope she isn’t chanting on a day where the man’s period is stronger than his will to avoid kicking her in the shins.

Even though I could elaborate more on this whole BEWARE OF TOPICAL ADMINISTERING thing, I won’t. I’ve probably already scared the shit out of a handful of men as it is.

RELATED STORIES: Do men have periods, too?

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Quote of the week: “All will be told when the scroll unfolds.”

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