I recently started dating a double-plus-sized stripper. The worst part is not that she’s a stripper; or that she’s plus-sized. The worst part is that I’m more concerned about what other people think (or will think) about me dating an overweight exotic dancer. My girlfriend loves cheeseburgers and stripper poles. I want to say “so what,” because I care about her, but I also care about what other people think [about us, or me for my choice in dating her]. Am I wrong? Should I end this relationship before my worries condemn it?
Eye of the Beholder
Dear Eye of the Beholder,
You should end the relationship not because of the fact that your girlfriend has a passion for a double dose of calories; nor for the fact that she spins her extra baby fat around a skinny pole. You need to take some time out to tap into your own confidence and self-consciousness before you let your insecurities hurt her feelings, which can also lead to bitter anger. And if she’s as plus-sized as you make her sound, if I were you I’d be more afraid of her sitting on me and breaking every bone in my body; or afraid of her beating you with a stale biscuit – something you clearly think she shouldn’t have or don’t need.
It sounds like you need a little time to figure out who you are so you don’t worry about how others perceive you. Never mind how others perceive you. What about how she perceives you when she finds out how insecure you are about her? More over; never mind how she perceives you. Your writing to me implies you are questioning your perception of yourself.
You’re looking at the size of her g-string instead of the size of her heart. If you don’t get a grip on maturity and the reality of love, your only thrill will continue to come from broads you buy your time from at the nudey bar, and soon you’ll be left broke and lonely.
If she’s confident enough to take her clothes off to show her fat rolls to a room full of people, then she doesn’t need to be, or deserve to be, for that matter, with someone whose security ranking on a scale of 1-100 is no greater than the average size of a shoe.
You should also keep in mind that no one is perfect. So before you pinpoint her flaws, look in the mirror and count the number of imperfections you may have that could possibly warrant her to write to me in question of how she should deal with your defects.
Good luck with this one, pal.