Are Coworkers Paid to be Courteous to One Another?

Ya know, I may be moody and smart-mouthed at times, but one thing I am not is RUDE, unlike some of my privileged coworkers. That’s right. I said it.

Somewhere over the course of time the working community has been brainwashed into thinking that there is an obligation to be courteous to those they work with. This thinking is understandable considering the ordinary working class citizen sees his/her coworkers probably more than they do their own families. But let me ask you. Are coworkers paid to be courteous to one another?  My answer to this question is NO.

Courtesy and manners are simply tools that helps one get what he/she needs for an expeditious assignment fulfillment and are more likely to get results than mean-mugging or keying someone’s car in the parking lot. Just because someone greets you with a warm salutation doesn’t mean their hearts are warmed by your presence. It means they are being nice to you now because they are going to need something from you later. That, my friends, is the culture of the workplace. Employees are paid to network in order to get results for a project that will make them look well enough to get a raise, a title change, a corner office, or a pat on the back when their supervisor(s) reap the rewards from their brown-nosing.

This morning I had the displeasure of forgetting the workplace culture and greeting, out of courtesy, a coworker that I don’t really care for. Call me crazy, but my mama did raise me with proper manners. What she didn’t do was RAISE ME TO BE THE SAME FOOL TWICE. The coworker that I greeted this morning, and I lie to you not, his initials are J.O. – oh how I wish I could drop his name here, however since I can’t (or won’t), we’ll just refer to J.O. as the Jerk Off in which he is – decided to look me dead in the eye and return that salutation with a muted blank stare.

Instead of hurling my building id badge at him like a freshly sharpened ninja star, I simply vowed out loud, so every person in the building could hear, never to speak to him again, even if one of our lives…or our lunches…depended on it.

As I continued my journey down the long dingy hallway, I couldn’t help but remember that old J.O., and by old I mean 27, works in the IT department, ultimately re-enforcing the unspoken promise that I will need him before he needs me.

In a word, “Damn.” In another word…or two…or four, “Oh well. Fuq him.”


Quote of the Week:  “Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard.”

For the Love of God, Get to the Point Already!

Far be it from me to be rude (any time after 3PM; or when someone I don’t like tries to hold an extended conversation with me or anyone that I know; or if I’ve not had sex in more than 4 days; or if my Chinese food doesn’t taste as tasty as I anticipate; or when I’ve been asked a stupid question first thing in the morning; or if I don’t like the way my barber cuts my hair; or…aww hell, I guess it isn’t that far from me to be rude), but if there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s when someone refuses to get to the point of a story…much like I just did with this first paragraph.

Last week I asked a friend about the status of her failing relationship. This week, I’m still waiting on the results of the status. I kid you not, she’s still describing the outfit she wore during the argument she had with her boyfriend that led me to ask about the status of the relationship. I guess it’s needless to say I no longer give a damn about her, her (I don’t know if he’s now her ex) boyfriend, or their relationship. And even more needless to say I don’t give a damn about what she was wearing. But for as long as she’s been describing this outfit (again, it’s been about a week, 6 hours, 47 minutes and 5.8 seconds), it sounds to me that if the relationship has failed, it has everything to do with what she was wearing. Either that or she bored him to death with her endless stories or rebuttals.

What am I trying to say here? Get to the point of your stories – especially if you are conversing with me or any other man on the planet. Most men, and by most men I mean all of us, have the attention span of a goldfish. Unless you are talking about sports, Nicki Minaj’s booty or Pamela Anderson’s boobs, you’ll lose us at hello.

PS, see how quickly I got to the point? Take note, people.

Thank you and goodbye. The end.


Quote of the Week:  “Your secrets are safe with me, because there is a good chance I was not listening.”

Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of October 19-25, 2014


Find out what’s in the cards for you this week.



December 22 – January 19

A waffle iron between the sheets gives new meaning to breakfast in bed and toasting your buns.



January 20 – February 18

Tonight, go to sleep with a rubber ducky, for tomorrow you will awaken in your own pool of drool…and it will smell like a rough night and bad morning combined.



February 19 – March 20

You are homesick for a place you’ve never been or a person you’ve never been in.



March 21 – April 19

One lap dance is too many and a thousand is not enough.



April 20 – May 20

You can’t not know what you know they know.



May 21 – June 20

If you can “huh,” you can hear.



June 21 – July 22

A human, a bioroid, and a cyborg all walk into a bar… Catch phrase this.



July 23 – August 22

Never trust a girl whose tracks are showing. She doesn’t give a fu*k!



August 23 – September 22

There are much easier things in life than finding the love of your life; like nailing Jell-O to a tree, for example.



September 23 – October 22

Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.



October 23 – November 21

A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.



November 22 – December 21

In the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,’ one never sees any tigers or dragons. The reason why is because they are crouching and hidden.


Quote of the week:    “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” –Winston Churchill