Don’t Talk, Just Listen


When is it permissible to say something when you have nothing nice to say?   Is it when someone cuts you off on the freeway?  Or when a person dismisses your conversation to monopolize the conversation about them?   What about if someone farts at the dinner table or if their pinky toenail is splitting through the leather of their shoes?

If you’re anything like me, you’re smart enough to know that that golden rule your mother taught you about knowing when to shut up does not apply to every situation.  Sometimes the best thing to say is the worst thing possible.  No one is that reserved.  Well, maybe nuns are but I’ve met my share of nuns who secretly had red-dyed habits stashed away somewhere in their dank little rooms.  But that’s a horse of a different color.

The point is ‘speaking your mind’ has somehow gotten lost in the travels of time.  It’s seen as and/or defined as being rude or inconsiderate.  You know what I say about that?  Hog wash!   Speaking when you have nothing nice to say is a term of endearment for all parties involved.

To the person who has nothing nice to say — let it out.  Your evil, petty and maybe even vindictive expressions may very well shed light on the listening victim’s inner ego, bad fashion sense, hygiene or overall being, for that matter.  You could also be inadvertently reminding someone how much they don’t want to be like you – insulting, abrupt, coarse, disrespectful, impolite, scurrilous or just down right rude.

To the person who is targeted by someone else’s discourteous comments, this is your opportunity to learn.  Channel your inner Sponge Bob and absorb the annotations whether ill-intended or jokingly.  If you need to cut your toenails, perm your split ends or not forget to wash all the important parts of your body, it’s better to hear it now and stop prolonging what inevitably needs to change for you to be less more of a gotdamn shame.

And finally, to the people who are sitting around listening to this sh*t, you have to admire the humor.  The nerve of some people!

Ladies and gentleman, guys, gals, cats and kittens – stop being so damn politically correct and just release into the atmosphere that which is clogging your better sense of morals and manners.  Speak up!  That’s what our lips are for.  They serve a purpose.  Truth.  Justice.  Humor.

Quote of the week:   “Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.”

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