Keep That Selfie to Yourself

I’ve always been in favor of self-promotion and an even bigger fan of self-love. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder what people think about when they take “selfies.” Granted, half of the world is obsessed with posting pictures [on social networks] of their new weaves, and dramatic caterpillars eyelashes, or the pimple on their face that they try so desperately to convince all the rest of the world is actually a replica of Marilyn Monroe’s famous beauty mark.  I get it. You love yourself. If you don’t love yourself then how can you expect anyone else to give a damn about you?

What I don’t get are the folks that know they have no business posting pictures of themselves at all. I’m speaking specifically about the people with starched unibrows, and glass eyes, and one nose nostril with a booger hanging out, and lips so dark that their mouth almost looks invisible in night time photos; or the people with hair lines that start in the middle of their chapped head, or the folks that forget to put in their dentures before aiming the camera at their grill.

I don’t understand women that want to show the world pictures of their voluptuous implants and then tell everyone that they are respectable women with not a plastic hooker bone in their body (not that I don’t enjoy looking!), or dudes that think they are turning women on by flexing non-muscles in their bird chests. I don’t see why someone finds it so important for me to see what they’re wearing that day, especially when their outfit consists of striped chef’s pants and dusty crocs. I don’t like to see women throw up the deuce sign while their fingernails look as if they’ve been changing oil at the local mechanic shop all day. I don’t like seeing bathroom sinks or toilet bowls being used as a backdrop for a photo shoot. I know I’m not the only one that doesn’t like it so please, knock it off! I’m serious. Give me a break.

You know if someone wants to look at you OR NOT. You know when your outfit is a fail. You know that someone is going to point out all the flaws you are purposely putting on display. You know if that selfie will make it to the bottom of a trash bin for a NO WAY JOSE magazine cover. You know these things because you are no different from the people that are judging your grade F selfies. You look at other people’s photos and say, “They knew better than that,” or “What the hell?” or “Why?”

Just stop. Before you hit the upload button to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, ask yourself if your selfie is a smart idea.


Quote of the Week:  “I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the worm.”

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