What are you good for?

You should always think of yourself as more than what you’re good for. Especially if you’re good for nothing.


-Hottywood Helps

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Blurred Lines. Blurred Everything

 

Holy Mother of Pearl, this day is unearthly long!

No lie, I’ve probably only had about 2 1/2 hours worth of sleep in the last 2 days. The only thing I see in front of my face right now is the same very long, very unnatural eyelash that mysteriously grows faster than any other single eyelash on the planet. Everything else is a blur. I’m telling you, this one monstrous eyelash strand is about as long as a bungee cord. It grows like a chia pet that doesn’t require watering.

While it’s probable that I’m so sleepy I can’t see straight, the chances of this eyelash’s success at finally blinding me are equally as great (which, if such is the case, will now make going to the bathroom in the middle of the night very interesting (provided I don’t trip over something that goes bump in the night, fall in the toilet and drown myself)). That sounds like a whole other story.


Laugh now and get it over with.

-Hottywood Helps

Nothing Compares

You can solve any problem by throwing it to the bottom of a

2 liter Root Beer soda.

…though that has the probabilities of bringing on a whole new set of problems: pimples, weight-gain, Root Beer breath.

I guess we didn’t think this one all the way through, huh? Oh well, someone out there is thirsty, and Root Beer is the quench to their thirst.

Problem solved.


Laugh now and get it over with.

-Hottywood Helps

Don’t be Emma

It’s Monday;  11:15am to be exact. You’re in your 3rd meeting of the day; the coffee pot is near empty, and Emma is being extra. Emma may unknowingly have Elmer’s glue in her swivel chair when she gets back to her desk from your meeting. Emma was [overly] enthusiastic about the morning. Now Emma will be embarrassed for the rest of the day. Emma may never live this down.

Don’t be Emma.


“Laugh now and get it over with.” 

-Hottywood Helps