Pep Talk: This Too Shall Pass

I often preach that every day can’t be full of peaches and cream, and my days are no exception to the rule.  In fact, today in particular, seems to be the day when everyone wants to kick me while I’m down.  Today I’ve been talked about, lied on, challenged, rejected, and underestimated.  I gotta tell you, I don’t like this feeling.  I don’t like feeling like I’m in a constant battle with no army; feeling attacked and insecure.  Though I’m a firm believer in the motto, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS,” it ain’t over until it’s over.  And until it’s really over, the sh*t still hurts.     

Now I might feel a moment of defeat in this never-ending millisecond of a day but I’m pretty sure that when the right sized brick bounces off my noggin, reality will set in and I’ll regain my rightful place in the land of “F*ck Them All,”  …that is after the mild concussion subsides from that damn brick falling on my head.   

Even still, life is hard — some days moreso than others.  But ask yourself, “If it were easy, would it be worth it?”  I don’t think so.  My cowboy hat may not have the biggest brim and my jeans may not have the sharpest crease but I declare that the spurs on my boots are as sharp as they come and I’m still the fastest draw in the west! 

Listen; the truth of the matter is sometimes we have to get kicked – all of us, myself included.  It reminds us of how strong we are.  It also gives us a good enough reason to swing a monkey wrench.  Monkey wrenches come in handy for screwing up someone else’s plan and partaking in any form of revenge

I might feel bad now but it’s only for a moment.  A long moment but a moment nonetheless.  So keep kicking me, b*tches, so I can keep swinging this wrench!  I need the occasional reminder that my journey is worth the fight and nobody can protect me but me.  There may be nothing I don’t know but I don’t know everything.  [#Oxymoronism at its best.]  What I do know is when the troops are no longer standing behind me, I have the biggest weapon of them all watching over me from on high.  And I dare anyone to challenge that.  

As long as I’m focused on my goal, strong in my faith and have $4.55 in my pocket to buy some chicken wings when this emotional moment has passed, I’m good.  No…I’m great!  I’m blessed.  Sometimes it’s hard to remember that when times are at their lowest peak it makes the end result so much more worth the victory dance.  The best part of remembering the good news is that 90% of any effort is getting started.  

Hey, even a man with all the answers needs a little pep talk from time to time.  And I have no problem talking to myself because I am my own best listener and I make the best sense to me. 

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Quote of the week:   “Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death.”

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What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger…Or Lucky

Let’s face it – it’s not always easy to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward after soaking in a bad situation.  After dealing with the initial hits, the consequences and the post emotions, you’re pretty much left wiped out – exhausted from the energy it took to endure all the petty bullsh*t and drama.  The good news is if the situation didn’t kill you then it left you stronger.  What the hell does that mean, you may wonder?  It means you’ll be ready for the next time a situation gets rough, tough and down right seemingly impossible to deal with.  But when you’re stuck in one of those ditches, there’s one thing that you can remember that Hottywood strongly believes: NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!  

If you find yourself trapped in a sticky moment and you’re not too sure how you’re going to make it through, there are a few things that you can do to help put your mind at ease.  They may not all be easy, but nothing in life worth having is easy.  After all, if we don’t experience those sh*tty moments, how can we ever appreciate the few good ones?   Sit back, relax, listen and learn.  It’s time for Hottywood to school the clueless.  

To pull through a tough situation, you can always: 

Stop, take a seat and take a load off.  You’d be surprised at how much relief you’d feel mentally if you just release some of the sh*t back into the atmosphere. 

…not to mention how much better you’re gonna feel after that cramp in your stomach dissipates. 

…I’m  just saying. 

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Run, smack into a wall – head first.  If the impact of your face hitting the wall doesn’t completely kill you, you’ll get a sufficient amount of rest in the hospital as doctors and nurses watch over you carefully while you slumber deeply in a coma. 

That’s one way to get away from it all…just don’t go into the light. 

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Chicken wings always works when the world is against you.  Preferably cooked.   If you’re a vegetarian, how much worse off can you be eating meat than you are playing the crappy hand that life has dealt you? 

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Sometimes just saying “No,” is not an option. 

Drink until your face explodes.  Nothing says, “I feel better” more than an oversized cup of 80 proof! 

CAUTION: The pain you may feel in your heart may move into your head after a big gulp of non-virgin.

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Never underestimate the power of a giant slingshot.  It can either be your greatest weapon or your greatest chance of a quick escape!   If you choose to go the ‘slingshot as a weapon’ route, make sure you’re fully loaded with a shopping bag full of fresh puppy poop. 

I’ll let your imagination run wild with this one…

Ready.  Aim.  FIRE! 

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Put any form of aluminum on your forehead for a better brain reception.  You’re bound to come up with a brilliant idea. 

Note:  This may not be one of them.  

…but if it works for a television set, why not?

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Punching — my personal fave — always works!  If you can’t punch someone else, you might as well knock your own daylights out.  

Believe me, this will probably be easier than dealing with some of the blows that people can throw at you,  just not as much fun. 

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Whatever you choose to do to get yourself out of or over a bad situation is entirely up to you.  Whether that choice is kicking, screaming, bunjee jumping off the side of a extra tall street curb or gunning yourself down with a semi-automatic water gun, it’s not that hard to get away from it all.  The key to a great escape is creativity.  The lock is reality.  Either way 90% of any effort is getting started.  You can thank your lucky stars for that.   But don’t rely on luck too much because if nothing else, luck can be a real bitch.

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Quote of the week:   “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”