Holy Mother of Pearl, this day is unearthly long!
No lie, I’ve probably only had about 2 1/2 hours worth of sleep in the last 2 days. The only thing I see in front of my face right now is the same very long, very unnatural eyelash that mysteriously grows faster than any other single eyelash on the planet. Everything else is a blur. I’m telling you, this one monstrous eyelash strand is about as long as a bungee cord. It grows like a chia pet that doesn’t require watering.
While it’s probable that I’m so sleepy I can’t see straight, the chances of this eyelash’s success at finally blinding me are equally as great (which, if such is the case, will now make going to the bathroom in the middle of the night very interesting (provided I don’t trip over something that goes bump in the night, fall in the toilet and drown myself)). That sounds like a whole other story.
Laugh now and get it over with.