It’s almost that time again – the wretched season of the flip flop.
With winter slowly, almost and finally kind of toying with the idea of getting lost to make way for Spring’s fresh, frilly and fragrant flowers, it won’t be long before the fragrance of those flowers are overpowered by bunion cream and foot powder.
That’s right kats and kittens, tis’ the season to be not-so-jolly with the return of flips flops and sandals [paired with white socks]. Woe is me!
If you’ve been following HottywoodHelps.com for the past couple of years, then you are well aware of my unconditional despise for sandals. I won’t even bother to mention the words “flip flops” again because the words alone make my stomach quiver. As much as I’m not looking forward to different variations of footwear toe displays, I am equally as excited about finally putting my portable rocket launcher to good use.
Spring and summer are the only explainable seasons for firing off missiles aimed at unkempt feet and even more disastrous footwear – Jesus sandals, gladiator sandals, flat sandals, slide sandals, topless sandals and my absolute least favorite – thong ip-ops (rhymes with flip-flops). And don’t even mention the sin of putting on foot sweaters (socks) with sandals. That should be one of the 10 commandments: “Thou shalt not go there.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a happening kind of guy. I can get with most of today’s fashion trends – with the exception of skinny jeans, sagging jeans, excessive hair extensions, overdramatized faux eyelashes and wearing sunglasses at night – but you lose me with toe thongs. I dunno, call me old fashioned.
Is now a good time to bring up my idea of eliminating feet and shoes all together and replacing them with wheels? At least then we’ll stumble across a new fashion phase – ankle hubcap spinners! Yay or Nay? What say ye?
Quote of the week: “If you want to forget about all your other troubles, wear a pair of shoes all day that are too small for your feet.”
Boys and girls of the class, raise your hand if you find it not quite so funny when a friend, associate or even someone you couldn’t care any less about seems to work their personal problems into a conversation with you, in hopes that you’d ask them what’s wrong.
This act is done by a lot of people and overlooked by many. It goes unnoticed because it’s one of those things no one actually stops to pay attention to, needless to say except the person who keeps working their issues into the convo. The subtle remarks are carefully inserted into related [and sometimes unrelated] subject matters and seemingly come out of nowhere, yet make the biggest silent impact on the person who’s forced to hear it and care even less than they did when the situation remained cohort.
This may come as a shock to some, but the truth of the matter is more people than you’d think could give a sh*t about your problems because everyone on the planet has problems of their own, so if no one asks you what’s wrong after the fiftieth time you’ve griped about your uninteresting predicament, it’s pretty much common knowledge that no one really cares. Stop imposing and stop whining. Just stop because the person you’re buzzing up has long since stopped listening. The only person who can get away with speaking without actually saying anything is the teacher on “Charlie Brown,” and after a while even a viewer changes the channel.
If you want someone to know what the hell’s going on with you, tell them. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t drop not-so-subtle hints. Don’t be slick with it. Most people aren’t going to jump into your business willingly and consciously because they don’t want to be blamed for any dumb decisions you make. Most people aren’t going to comment on your issues because you’ve probably spit out the answers to your own questions anyway. Most people are probably going to look straight through you in an effort to see the nearest “Exit” sign hanging somewhere behind you. However if you’re not careful, one day you’re going to come up against someone that isn’t like most people. And that person will willingly listen to you gloat about the stupidity and/or humdrum that is your life and will turn around and do one or all of the following: (1) Tell you the truth – something you probably don’t want to hear; (2) Tell you, “so what?” – something else that you probably don’t want to hear; or (3) Tell any and everyone all about your business – and in case you didn’t know, your dirt sounds way more interesting coming from someone who isn’t you. The problem is words get twisted when they are spoken from someone else’s lips. But because you insist on monopolizing an unwarranted conversation with someone who blatantly doesn’t give a rat’s ass, that’s just the price you have to pay. Whether you learn a lesson or not isn’t anyone else’s problem but your own. On the other hand as we stay true to the subject of this post, that last statement goes in one ear and right out of the other.
If I were to tell you that 90% of any effort is getting started, I’d most likely be referring to you learning when to shut up.
Quote of the week: “Some people talk a whole lot about nothing because it’s the only thing they know anything about.”