What Becomes of a Broken Heart: Getting the Last Laugh

Can we talk seriously for a moment?  …I didn’t think so, but let’s give it a shot anyway.  

They say “the heart wants what the heart wants.”  But what happens when the heart you want doesn’t want you back?  Wait.  Here’s a more thought provoking question: What happens when the heart that didn’t want you before, wants you now?  How do you deal?  Do you overlook the pain and suffering you endured when you were rejected by that special someone?  Do you pretend those feelings never existed or proceed with a lot of caution and a lot more ninja stars?  The answers are never easily revealed.  For the most part, it’s a matter of, you guessed it — the heart.  

Some people believe in second chances.  Some believe in fate.  Some believe that everything happens for a reason.  Those people are silly.  The really smart people believe that there are reasons why things didn’t work out the first time.  And those people are right.  Nine times out of ten if someone is trying to win you over or win you back, it’s because they miss you or something about you.  That much is worth the flattery but not necessarily the revisit.  There’s no guarantee that the second time around would be better than the first.  In fact, chances are it would be a recap of the tubs of ice cream and comfort food you wolfed down when you were dumped; stranded; ignored; rejected; underestimated; and underappreciated.  Only a fool would agree to go through that torment and weight gain again.  If there is/was something that someone didn’t like about you to begin with, it’s only a matter of time before those same turnoffs turn them off again, carrying your ass right back to the drawing board. 

Instead of asking yourself gratuitous questions like, “What if…?” this is your moment to take the opportunity to revel in the delight of getting the last laugh.  Somewhere between those buckets of tears and buckets of wings, you said to yourself that your ex lover would miss you when you were gone.  You may not have known when, if, or even how, but you knew in your heart that you were worth missing.  Them crawling back to you while whispering sweet nothings is the validation you could’ve only dreamed of and hoped for.  This is your just reward for loving someone who wouldn’t love you back; your trophy; your red ribbon!  The best part of sitting in the winner’s circle is that you know you are better than before.  You don’t need justification.  You don’t need someone else to tell you how great you are.  It’s nice to hear, but it’s not necessary — especially if it’s coming from someone who’s only speaking with empty words. 

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Life has a funny little way of telling you some good sh*t.  You just have to be open to listening to what it has to say.

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Always remember, “the path to your future does not rest in the baggage you carry on your back.”  Moving on and accepting new things is not as difficult as you may imagine.  Granted, it may take a little effort but 90% of any effort is getting started, the rest is a breeze.   Get the last laugh.  Laugh long and laugh loud! 

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Quote of the week:   “The first step in getting the things you want out of life is to decide on what it is you want.” 

Hottywood’s HORRORscopes: Week of February 28-March 6, 2010

This week holds a lot to be desired in the form of chicken wings and stripper poles.  Rest assured that that’s the highlight of what’s in store for you. 

Below are Hottywood’s cookie fortunes, as revealed by the moon and the sun, in addition to the itch on the bottom of his foot.   

Take heed.  Knowledge is power.

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Capricorn

December 22 – January 19 

Don’t go out with anyone named Bruno, especially if Bruno is a woman. 

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Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

Putting cologne on your underarms is not going to solve your immediate onion-scented problem.

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Pisces

February 19 – March 20   

You will have a strange compulsion to touch someone’s nipple.  They will have a strange compulsion to punch you.

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Aries

March 21 – April 19 

It may be time to clip your toenails if they keep getting caught in the rug while you’re still wearing shoes. 

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Taurus

April 20 – May 20 

If your name has a vowel in it, you need to shave your back.

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Gemini

May 21 – June 20 

1 + 1 = 11 only when booze is involved and you’re seeing double OR if you’re just stupid and failed math all throughout school.

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Cancer

June 21 – July 22 

You can avoid the law if you stay away from overly perky people whose sex lives are more active than yours. 

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Leo

July 23 – August 22 

You are your own boss.  You can fire yourself, but trust and believe you’ll pay yourself double to come back to work. 

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Virgo

August 23 – September 22 

Anyone who lies for you will lie to you.  And that’s no lie. 

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Libra

September 23 – October 22 

Someone will confide in you.  The best advice you can offer is, “Na na na boo boo.” 

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Scorpio

October 23 – November 21 

You don’t have to worry about giving out any fake telephone numbers because no one is going to ask you for it anyway. 

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Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21   

Whoever said, “All good things must come to an end,” never had sex with you. 

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Quote of the Week:    “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”